The Kintners Music I’m past the average lifespan of an untreated bipolar, no thanks to most folks.

Save the Wales.

Keri and dad.

Keri and dad are only people in my whole life that’s close to me that I can remember who have read a lot about bipolar disorder and decided to stick with me. I couldn’t even get previous relationships to read “bipolar disorder for dummies.” I could never get kids, family, or friends to gander at it. I hate to say I come with instructions, but..

An actual flag for sale on amazon.

Just me and Kanye.

I am fairly certain folks think it’s a trivial matter, but it isn’t to me. 45 is the average lifespan of an untreated bipolar. I’m almost 49. I’m a few days away from Kanye. Fun fact.

I like living.

I’d like to live, too. So I do the doctor. Meds. I talk to folks about feelings, impulses, and my thinking. Living (for me) means keeping my feet on the ground, basically. Not a lot of people are willing to assist me with that. Thank goodness for Keri and dad.

Happens sometimes. Usually a dude, but not always with this one.

Take that judgment and shove it.

I’ve experienced judgement from everything like hyper-sexuality to simply changing my mind. I’ve had grandiose delusions of making a difference in the world. My personality has changed overnight. Think this is fun? I just don’t care about your judging. I know I’m prone to those things now. Judgement is not going to make me afraid anymore.

I’ve lost a lot from symptoms and being untreated. But I’m very happy with dad and Keri. Since we’ve been attacking this together with my Dr., things have improved dramatically. It’s what we hoped.

I can always think of more buttons too!

Little bitter, can’t help it.

I’m bitter. I can’t help it now, but I’m working on it. Work in progress. When you ask folks to read a book about your symptoms and they refuse, then never speak to you again because of your symptoms, it’s a little frustrating. We’re talking wives and kids here. Some folks have even justified stealing from me as payback for shit I did while symptomatic when they wouldn’t even take me to the doctor when I asked them to. Not anymore! Sick of that. A little bitter about it. But also glad to be here with Keri. So.🤷

Sore spots.

Judgement for psychosis is not fun. Just so ya’ know. Judgement for psychosis when you tried to get better and folks around you balked, especially not fun. Never seeing kids again, for example. It’s not fun.

Never gets old.

I’m MOSTLY not bitter.

I’m so grateful to Keri I get to have a relationship with someone who actually knows me, not just talks about me to her friends.

My dad is a child advocate. He’s familiar with psychosis. Lucked out there too.

Ever heard of research?

I do feel bitter, but I am grateful too. I’m here. That’s more than a lot of bipolars can say. And it is good to be here. But it honestly would be a lot better if folks would read a little, especially the ones in my life who tell me they love me.

“He does music because he’s bipolar.” Or even, “he’s just good at music because he’s bipolar.”

I’m not special.

I write this because my story is common. I’m not unique. The rooms of every psyche ward I’ve been in are filled with ghosted folks. Many were just symptomatic. It sucks, 🤷.

Ever known someone to do this?

In closing..

If you decide to love someone with mental illness, please read up on that illness, or skip them. Leaving them when they show symptoms fucks them up. Can verify.

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