“You’ve changed.”

Funny how everyone knows trumps crazy but few folks harp on it. I think it is everything, Has been since the Interview with Rachel Scott at the NABJ. I mean, was I the only person that watched that?

It works, can verify.

A while back a good friend told me I’d changed a lot since we’ve been friends. This is very interesting to me because about 10 years or so ago I decided to get treatment for Bipolar Disorder among other things. I’ve been going to the doc and taking meds since. He knows all of this. Yet, seemed very surprised I had changed.

This is one way mental health patients know the shit is working. Don’t let it stop what you are doing so you can be dumb like your old friends again. Make new friends. Nearly every self-help program involves that or basically is that.

If you are able, try growing some more.

We continue to grow when we’re adults if we are lucky. I got lucky. I may have gone the long way about it, but I got my mind back and I’m learning things. Many folks can’t do this. I’ve watched them try. They have to update whatever they want to do first and have lost interest by the time it’s ready due to the attention span of a gnat.

It’s hard. Learning. But it’s also tons of fun. And guess what, a lot of times you make friends!

Don’t let these things take over. Don’t let folks who don’t have a clue take over too. In fact, you’re better off not letting anyone or anything take over. Get help if you need it.

Traveling helps growth, or at least helps you notice it.

Every time I’ve ventured away from this town I’ve come back feeling different. More mature. Older. And smarter. Part of the reason is because folks talk to me how they talked to me before I got help. I was obviously a different person. I can tell by the way they’re talking. This helps me feel a changed person on the inside. Take what we can get.

If you don’t think he’s nuts, watch this 90 secs with Rachel Scott. Jeebus Christ. Get help if you need it, like this guy.

I can’t do it without the meds. I tried it that way over 30 years.

I am not the same person without Lithium that I am with it. Don’t function the same, if I function at all. I’m one of the ones it works for. It’s worked so well I’d say I’m happy most days. My relationships last longer and provide meaning and motivation. I write with bright recollection and efficiency. I have everything I’ve ever wanted on the inside and most everything on the outside. I’m happy to be a success story, at least so far. You never know. But I do know I’d have a ride to the hospital at least.

I was a homeless crazy drug addled kid in the 90’s. I feel very lucky. So of course, if you knew me then, you don’t know me now. But many folks think they do. Almost daily. Just odd. Am I the only person who changed in 20 years?

Now when someone tells me “you’ve changed.” I just say thanks. But in my head I say, “No shit. Mental illness only being talked about when I’m asymptomatic doesn’t do much for me. Maybe you could have given me a ride to the hospital or shelter if your head wasn’t up your ass.” But I just say “thanks.”

Staying sane takes work. I think the work part scares folks off. Just a guess. But the last thing most folks need is more work. Wish folks had energy for mental health. Get help if you need it.

Why not help someone with their head? Or even talk about their head?

We have to do better for the mentally ill and those that have to put up with us. Part of that is talking. Folks I’ve run into are horrible at it. I try to help them, but I can tell they don’t do it except for with me and that ain’t my goal. Although, always happy to talk.

I want to talk about how crazy some churches are and the president is. I want to know their diagnoses and treatment plans. I don’t want them to run things. They’re fucking crazy. How do we all know this and not talk about it?

Then I think about my case. No one said shit to me about being different until I’d been on lithium a few years. All the crazy shit I did growing up and in adult hood, not a single soul said, “Kelly, ever think about going to the doctor?” Until my dad in 2010. Then Keri again in 2015.

Sometimes I post a pic of a key when I feel I have arrived at the crux of the entry.

Key to the keys that open chests full of keys.

If trump had someone in his life that cared for him, they’d have given him a ride already. This is where I’m super lucky! A few folks love me enough to get a Dr involved early on if I am symptomatic. As long as he’s crazy and “in charge,” miraculously no one gives him grief about being mentally ill. They just badger him about being in charge. The men in shadows snicker. Wouldn’t happen to him if he somehow was lovable, or if he was constantly badgered about his mental illness. It’s a matter of national security and folks just shrug their shoulders and say, “yeah he’s crazy. So what?”

Happened just yesterday. No argument about him being crazy. Just argument about it being worth mentioning. This person knows me and still thinks that. That is beyond weird to me.

Make a plan. Help a crazy person today. Chances are you know at least one.

If you see someone acting super crazy on camera or in the street, do you know what to do to protect everyone and get that person help? Don’t you think you should? Because you’re very lucky if you get to notice that person change down the road. (That’s what we want, right?)

return to home.

I’m kelly and I am free to talk about mental illness anytime day or night at [email protected]. Sadie says get help if you need it.

Enjoy a new jam. Also on Bandcamp. Thanks!