The site that got me going!
Recently I got this URL for the Epstein files done up in an incredibly easy way to read for a few minutes or all day. The link is https://jmail.world and I highly recommend it. I’ve even found a couple of names before they were reported in the news. Looking at you, Dr. Oz.
The site looks like an email app. There’s contacts, inbox, sent, and outbox. There’s a search bar. There’s also a random button if you’re feeling lucky. It works well. I find myself putting stories together.
Worth mentioning..
It should be worth mentioning that Trump is mentioned more times in these files than Harry Potter is mentioned in the Harry Potter books. No one really cares when you tell them that. But it’s been figured out and I like it.
I must help survivors, somehow. It’s for my own survival.
Folks have a hard time understanding what’s going on for anyone abused like I was. I get that. But it shouldn’t be hard to imagine sex abuse talk puts folks like me in a weird spot. On one hand, I’m kind of familiar. On the other, pretty damaged by it. Don’t exactly LIKE talking about sex abuse or hearing about it all the time. But I will fucking do it.
All the changes.. damn.
Abuse changed me on so many levels. It changed me on a chemical level in my brain. It is the single most difficult hurdle of my life to this day. Not because of the ways I’ve realized it has changed me. But the ways I haven’t realized it yet. I can’t express how difficult it is to feel success or prosperity or threatened or even sad. The good isn’t as good, the bad is worse than bad. That’s largely from repeated sexual abuse as a child. Still. I’m in my late 40’s. I’m guessing this battle won’t end until I do. Thanks, abusers.
If I could give advice to anyone dealing with a survivor I don’t know what I’d say. We’re all a little different and it makes things complicated. We could be all the same, just at different spots. Or we might have managed to get some help. I am not the same as I was 10 years ago. I hope that for everyone, but especially the survivors.
It’s largely an American issue. Sadly. Not crime, just punishment.
In this app, I see wealthy folks yucking it up in 2016 with a known sex offender since 2008. That doesn’t sit well with me. I think those folks knew what Epstein was, for a long time. If you decide to read them, it helps to pull up an Epstein time line. There’s loads of them. It doesn’t look good for the rich bastards but it is the USA. If you’re rich, you ain’t going to jail. Epstein himself did a year in Florida but got to leave in the morning and come back at night, “for work release.” Rich folks.
Back at the homestead..
This latest Epstein drop is toppling governments and monarchies all over the globe. It’s a mover and a shaker. But here in Texas, at least, I’ve been teased a couple times for reading them. Remember the gaslighting talk? Rich bastards who trafficked abused girls. Gaslight all you want. I know I’m not wasting my time.
It’s not like folks just come right out and tell you they abuse people.
You really don’t know folks. That’s a hard lesson to learn for the normal people in my life. Without a doubt, if they can’t talk about abuse, they can’t talk about bad guys. I think unless you experience how bad folks can be, your guard isn’t up around them. I do not assume goodness in folks. It has to be experienced over time. It may be why I only have a few friends. Abuse is serious and that’s not the half of it.
Remember AOL and how it got into every file system of your computer like a spider with a leg in every operation? That’s kinda’ like abuse.
Abuse stunts growth as well. All the time spent in “survival mode” is time spent squeaking out an existence. It’s not time spent growing, developing, having fun. Watching your ass is the number one priority. That’s not growth, it’s terror.
I can’t think of a single aspect of my life and consciousness not affected by abuse. Still. From relationships, development, even being in a crowd. Watching TV can be traumatic sometimes. And yes, reading these files can become an obsession.
We can all do something to help survivors feel safe. Even little things.
One time I worked with someone who later got a child abuse conviction. I removed his parts from songs and put them back up. Just a trivial thing. But I am not cool with abuser musicians. Kids, women, men.. whatever. Don’t dig the abuse vibe. Won’t do it. That’s just a little thing I can do. Like reading the Epstein files. Perhaps there’s something I can learn that helps someone someday. Perhaps there’s something I can learn that helps me. I’m glad I’m reading them. At least someone is.
The convenience of not caring.
Abuse is important. It’s important to kids, adults, and all of society. If you don’t think so, that must be convenient.
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