We’ve discussed this before, but it was centered around different people
Last time I brought up the term “gaslighting,” I used it in reference to our regime here in the USA. Their big thing is to do crazy shit and make you feel crazy for calling them out on it. They get loads of mileage out of that tactic. But what about regular folks in our lives? Do they gaslight too? My experience says definitely.
I don’t know who is mimicking who, but our president and his followers are gaslighting pros. I’ve explained his end before, here. But how do folks we know do this? My most common gaslighting occurrences are centered around being wrong and not admitting it. The gaslighter goes to town in that situation. I don’t think they accept being wrong and moving on.
Just say you’re wrong so we can eat.
I have known folks all my life who when confronted with a lie, or being wrong, started gaslighting. Without fail. It’s quite possible I was one of those folks at times. I didn’t know.🤷. Why I write this shit. Let me save you some trouble.
If you suspect you’re wrong about something, it’s not a big deal still. Maybe you feel threatened. But, “oh you’re right, I totally didn’t know that!” And bam, moment forgotten. We all move on. We all still like each other. I hypothesize the gaslighter does not know this for a variety of reasons. What’s worse, they may seize the opportunity for control and bickering, power and attention. All avoidable. “I was wrong, you’re right, let’s have lunch.” Much better.
That’s not what I said.
I hear a ton of “that’s not what I said,” when talking to people. Now understand, I mostly talk in writing. I can look at what they say and for sure see that’s what they said. I don’t know if they think they spoke it, but “that’s not what I said,” when they said it…typical gaslighting behavior. I ignore after that, typically. I find it frustrating and unfair. If I can admit to being sexually abused, a horrible father, mentally ill, and loads of mistakes, they can be wrong ever-so-often. It’s not an equitable relationship. I make for the exit. It is what they said, they’re just wrong. Should be no big deal. I’m wrong all the time in learning environments. It may be how I learn sometimes. Many times this simple behavior has revealed issues I do not want to be involved with.
Absolute Truth is a belief.
I’ve talked to folks who want truth to be black and white. Met someone who constantly drives on the term “absolute truth.” As in, “I believe in Absolute Truth.” I just hate when smart folks fall into the temptation of buying dumb shit and trying it on me. Feels more like a pitch than a conversation. What single complex issue is black and white? Is abortion black and white? Is it black & white even though you realize it was illegal for most of our country’s history and it became such a humanitarian crisis that we had to make it legal in the 70’s? What if millions of women were saved because of Roe v Wade? What if they were often saved from men who voted for abortion bans? Is it still black & white? I don’t think it is. If it isn’t black and white, why ban it? Doesn’t that mean folks get hurt? Shouldn’t bans only be used for things that benefit no one? Is that really abortion? Now take nearly every hot button issue. Finding absolute truth there? It’s almost as if black and white issues don’t even exist! They’re created to appeal to black and white type political folks. That’s real boring politics, by the way. Or it’s gaslighting. “Absolute Truth,” does not exist in my world. I don’t think it exists in politics for everyone. Just politics for someone. That’s domination, not democracy.
Pattern-seeking behavior is mental illness.
I’ve encountered gaslighting with pattern-seekers too. Like I’m crazy I don’t see the patterns they made up or borrowed from YouTube. Stuff like Trump is a bull in a China shop. There’s no order or pattern here. There’s no greater power at work. This is what money buys. That’s the real pattern of his behavior throughout the course of my whole life. This isn’t a leveler, it doesn’t equal things out, and he’s not from god. This is chaos. Just admit it.🤷.
“Stop being racist,” isn’t a dig.
One time I told a friend what he said was racist. I wasn’t trying to be hurtful. Let me explain; I agree with the scholarly thought that most all of us are racist. I think it’s been hard to shake all the racist bullshit I’ve been raised with. I’m a work in progress on that. I wasn’t trying to check him as someone who was better. I was trying to help him be better. I hope my friends help me if racist shit comes out. I don’t want to be racist, I want to be anti-racist, always. But I got a lot of it in me still. It comes out slowly, not overnight. Now, a gaslighter can’t do what I just did. That’s why they suck. They’ll do anything but admit to being like everyone else. True story.
Do you really think you are honest even though you don’t know everything? How does that work?
My experiences face to face and online revolve around honesty usually. Many folks I’ve come across even think they’re honest. That’s just because they haven’t gotten honest yet, or they’d know.. no one is. Gaslighters are excellent at being the one in a million type, or so you think. The truth is, everyone is struggling to know what’s true. That’s a direct result of a fascist regime taking over media and controlling messages. Much like music’s been forever, in politics if anyone claims to know it all, avoid them like the plague. No one knows it all. They just want you to think they do. Gaslighting 101.
My bipolar disorder does not make me over receptive to gaslighting. But my trauma might.
Lastly, I’ve had friends aware of my mental health history bring it up to point out I’m wrong. My screws might be loose, or I would be an alright musician if I didn’t have mental health issues, or my favorite, “calm down.” See, this regime is led by a very crazy person. He’s so crazy that I’ve never been in a psych ward with anyone as crazy as him. I’ve been 3 times. 2 states.. lol. Simply not calling him crazy when he’s clearly crazy gaslights me. If you can’t see he’s nuts, that’s not me.. that’s actually you. Stop gaslighting me about it. That’s the most common fault right now. Kamala Harris didn’t treat him like he was crazy and gaslighted millions. That’s just her! The damage is irreparable from one person. Now imagine that X’s the population. I’m not the one!
If I’m seeing the doctor and productive, maybe it’s not always about my mental health. My doctor reads the site! lol. My wife and father do too.. I think I landed in a cozy spot somehow.. let’s talk about your mental health.
Key thought.. The key to most things with people.
The world isn’t what you think it is, even if you’re smart. That’s okay if you’re willing to admit it. If you’re not, you got issues. Don’t try and push them on me.
Return home.
