Friends for 28 years, can I get a “are you feeling okay?”
Recently had a friend of 30 years tell me he didn’t know how to be my friend with my phases and changes. He knows all about me being bipolar. But he really has no clue what Bipolar Disorder is.
If you simply read the wiki, can you understand we’re talking 2% of the population here? Many folks talk Bipolar, but it’s very likely they don’t actually know it.
Narcissism is often mentioned like Bipolar is. Also, very low percentage of the population. Anyone ever look this stuff up?
Have you thought about what this is like?
My Bipolar has the capability to make me wake up with a different worldview, different priorities, different problems, different personality, different energy. It’s not fun. I don’t even know I’m doing it and if at least 2 people didn’t care for me greatly with time and attention not counting a medical team, I doubt I would be here. But go on, tell me how you don’t know how to be friends.
I get so tired of folks acting like a victim instead of asking me if I’m okay. Really. Tired of that. For me, if I’m someone’s friend, mental health doesn’t determine if I can hang. My safety or theirs does. Otherwise, we’re good.
If you want to be pals, you kind of need to know this about me.
Mental illness does not mean “I know I’m crazy.” It means “I don’t know I’m crazy.” Apathetic friends who can’t ask me if I’m feeling okay then act like a victim get no make up sympathy from me. It’s not my fault you don’t know what I’m going through even though I’ve sent the wiki dozens of times.
The ghosted and the mental patient.
Years and years ago, my onset years. Children ghosted me in a bad divorce. It wasn’t even to their mom. They were never in danger. One even saw me at my mother’s funeral a year later and was awful to me in front of friends and family I never got to see. I was already feeling emotional. It was hard. But it wasn’t because I’m a bad dude. It’s because they’re embarrassed to be known in association with me. That’s not revenge, that’s not protecting themselves, it’s bias. All it is.
Getting better is a bitch.
Spent weeks in hospitals on psych wards and even more weeks in outpatient programs.. the link between the ghosted and the mentally ill cannot be overstated presently or historically. If you are looking for ghosted folks, start at the hospital.
Friends still ditch me because I act differently from one day to the next. Getting a little old, to be honest. I make posts like this frequently and send out the wiki on bipolar all the time. For the love of jeebus, learn a little about it. Try to imagine dealing with it if you have it. If you cannot do that, don’t be friends with crazy folks. 🤷
It’s just more pain, used to it.
It hurts when I think about the folks I used to know and don’t know what I did to lose them…except maybe act symptomatic for an afternoon I was struggling. I feel like there’s a way to prevent the inevitable departure of “friends” once I show symptoms. But I sure haven’t found it yet. They’re sure to see them too. It’s a pickle.
I often don’t know who my friends or enemies are. They don’t help.
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