It happened again.
I was called a stupid old white guy yesterday. I mentioned slavery in yesterday’s post. A white woman called me a stupid old white man for it. I had bought a ton of her music. I had gone to her listening parties. I interviewed her a while back and really enjoyed it. I didn’t know she felt this way about me. It hurt my feelings. Even though she hates my guts, I still like her songs. Happens. Not worried about it. I deleted her music and blocked her email. On to the next one.
I get the old white guy thing. I have a mirror. But if that prohibits you from being nice to me, please, fuck right off.
I am honestly trying to figure the world out. It’s helpful. It’s educational. I am not scared of being wrong. I’m scared we can’t talk about this shit.
Even old white guys are allowed to buy their own website and talk about whatever they want.
I was told I have no right to even mention slavery as an old white dude. I categorically and fundamentally disagree with that notion. If I can’t talk to other white dudes about how atrocious slavery is, that isn’t my problem. That’s someone else’s rules. Not mine. I pay the light bill for this thing. I don’t ask for money. I don’t ask for likes. I don’t ask for sympathy. I just ask for decent conversations occasionally. That is not wrong. I do not care if it offends you. Don’t click on it.
About “old” lol.
Also, I’m 48. While I realize that isn’t young, it’s really not that old. Only one of us discriminated, wasn’t me.
Just the motivation I needed.
I’m not deterred. I will keep writing and thinking out loud. If I offend you, and you have to let me know, try respecting folks. At least at first. See how far you get with that. I promise I don’t know who the fuck you are and I wasn’t thinking about you when I typed something. But, if you present me with a valid argument instead of bullshit biases, I might listen. I see “old white man” and I’m out. I don’t treat folks that way. Sorry. I have standards. I don’t even treat myself that way. Took me years and years to learn that. I am not going backwards.
Old white men can totally talk about slavery. I don’t even know what the fuck it means to live where I can’t talk about what I feel is wrong. I’ll just die right now if I can’t talk about what I want on the internet in this broken world. If an old white man is telling other old white men that slavery is wrong, that’s okay in my book. Sorry if that’s offensive. IT SHOULD NOT BE.
(I was married to a bully for years. This song came from that.)
I am not your huckleberry. I fucking hate bullies.
I realize we all have issues and it helps to blow up on folks for not doing anything wrong. But I will block you and never speak to you again, delete your music, and regret ever knowing you if you yell at me and call me names. I don’t know who you think I am, but you got me wrong.
I am not trying to collect people here. I’m trying to think and have conversations. That is okay. Sorry if I invite you and you hate it. “Please don’t invite me,” is a nice way to be friends if I am not your thing. It’s just manners.
It’s a hostile world.
I have a very difficult time dealing with hostility. I find out in the world, folks are very hostile. I feel for them. They seem like exposed wounds from a keyboard’s perspective. I am not interested in pouring salt on anything. I am interested in healing to make the world less hostile. I can’t take it. Makes me cry all the time because I just want to hang out and make music and have deep conversations and I wind up in a fight. Fuck that, and fuck you too out there if you send me mean shit. I never felt mean. I don’t even care about my opinion on things. I just care that we can talk about them. You ruin that spirit. Fuck off.
Social media all over again.
This happened on social media a lot. Folks seemed to resent me talking sometimes. Sorry if I got the wrong idea about words. I was under the impression that communication is what they were for, jackasses.
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