About yesterday’s entry on trauma.
Yesterday I posted “about my trauma” and got a lot of high fives. Thank you! My people. I also got a lot of advice. That can vary. High fives are cooler.
To the folks that think I need to forgive abusers, you’re just wrong. There is no level-up after forgiveness happens. Maybe if I wanted to assist my abusers in not feeling bad for rape and stuff, I’d feel up to giving them something. But they get nothing. I was fucking 5.
Whose side are you on? I can’t tell.
When survivors talk about surviving and folks tell them to forgive who hurt them, it’s a big ole slap in the face. They’re saying, “I missed the brutally raping children part.” They simply refuse to acknowledge that the concept of “forgiveness” doesn’t even exist without abusers and church.
They’re saying for you to get over it. They don’t want to hear it. You have to revisit that memory and not be repulsed by it. To me, that sounds like their issue, not mine.
Abusers forfeit their shot at redemption from me. I’m not saying they cant get it anywhere else, apparently. But I’m done with those fuckheads. Also, that isn’t wrong.
Bring on the bitter, it’s actually an improvement.
I’ve been told I’m bitter. I think that’s a remarkable frame of mind for what I went through. I could be a pile of jelly on the floor. Believe me, I’ve thought about it. Bitter is fine when you’ve been abused. Natural, I’d say. Embrace the bitter.
I don’t mind at all hearing about your trauma. I feel it’s a responsibility and nice to do.
I was also told I trauma dumped yesterday. Couple things there like missing the whole point of the entry, for starters. Listen, if you haven’t experienced trauma, we may not be for each other. Not to mention if you happen to be preaching forgiveness and telling me I trauma dumped yesterday, you sound very much to me like you’re abusing someone.
Always a dude..
Only abusers want victims to pipe down and forgive them. Who else would want that? Ever think of that, man? (Always a dude.)
If you don’t like reality, that isn’t my problem.
Yesterday I wore layers of kid gloves talking about my abuse. I’m not in a feed. I’m not a status. I’m not a scroll. I’m a human who has been sexually abused many times as a child. I’m figuring that out. You’re welcome to read. But you clicked on the entry that said “about my trauma.” I’m not sure what you were expecting from the outset except maybe giving a forgiveness spiel.
First Key:
If you have suffered from trauma, you are welcome here. No questions, no judging.
If you survived trauma, you can expect me to listen. I may never get the damage you experienced. But I think it’s valid. I want to hear it. I want to give you a hug, and I’m not a hugger. But you need one. So. Trauma-safe zone, here. It’s official. My “calling.”
I like tips from survivors.
I also want to learn how you live. You may be better than I am at it at the moment. Maybe there’s something in the way you’re doing things that works, (besides forgiveness). I don’t do god. My religious friends seem to have a veil over their eyes. I do not want that. That’s how you get abused.
There’s folks out there who know how the world is. Feel free to pipe in with something other than trauma dumps and forgiveness. I won’t be silenced. I’m not in that phase of trauma anymore. [email protected].
Maybe think about this sentence, second key:
I hope you don’t tell anyone else to shut up about trauma or to forgive abusers. That isn’t the goal for a survivor and friends, just abusers.
Return to home.