Nearly every musician I know talks about depression like an old friend. Why is that? Is it part of the job? I have Bipolar Disorder, myself. Depression is no stranger to me. But it has gotten better.
Over 10 years ago, a major life event left me in shambles. Still facing consequences from it to this day. Been hospitalized. Ghosted by friends and kids. Been on meds for a while. It’s better than it was, but it’s still very different and often sad.
I deal with a lot of regret. In fact, sometimes I get what I call “regret spirals.” I can lose my balance, make guttural “ugh” noises. I almost go into a spin. But if a guitar is near, I grab it and hang on to it like floating wreckage. Eventually, I find solid ground.
Depression isn’t easy. Being a musician isn’t easy. But somehow they’re both easier together. The main reason I play music is to stay too busy to be depressed. Music gives me something to do. If I didn’t have it, I’d for sure be in trouble.
Sometimes I don’t feel like doing music. I get so depressed, I’m very lucky to get a shower and coffee. It’s those times I remind myself that happiness isn’t the opposite of depression, vitality is. Then I drink my victory coffee.
I feel for the musicians out there with battles. And I want you to know Keri and I love you. We love you in the psych ward. We love the LGBTQ community. Any colors, we love them all. We love you if you’re religiously oppressed. We love you if you’re just having a bad day. Happy to talk, anytime. [email protected].
Give me a ring if you need to.
My experience with depression has me convinced it’s no joke. It’s also left me with knowledge and a tone that might be useful for someone out there. Happy to share. I know how serious it is.
Music and depression are a lot like Tolkien and Zeppelin. Chocolate and Peanut butter. That’s great when it helps. But if it music ever quits helping, grab someone to talk to. You’re worth it and I’m here. Have a good day. I mean it. Thanks.🙏
return home
Brief Story:
A doctor in New York told me when I was first diagnosed that Keri and I would have to learn to “ride the waves together.” That phrase has helped me visualize a lot of things. It’s simply amazing to have Keri with me in the raft. Good luck.
