20 years ago..
Back in 04 when Facebook came out, there was an adjustment period for me to get hooked to it. It wasn’t even love at first sight. I deleted and put it down several times before I was on every day.
I didn’t know it then, but I was taking on a new habit. It was changing me, perhaps on a molecular level, to be less social. You couldn’t have told me that. I talked to 100 people a day, I thought. But I was pretty lonely.
The digital version of you.
See, folks online get the digital version of me. They don’t eat with me, take care of me when I’m sick, witness me in a bad mood, hold my hand, ride around in the car with me, sleep with me, come over and visit, on and on, etc.
I get a lot of affirmation from people online. That’s the number one gift, followed closely by grief. lol. It’s addicting. But it’s not from anyone who knows me. No one compares one song to the next the way real life friends do, for instance. They can’t. If I meet someone online they’ve never heard of me before. They don’t know what I look like except a profile pic that means nothing. Why does affirmation from them even feel good? Is it good?
It’s a lot like meth.
I’d say it’s good if you don’t digest it. Many times folks online give us what we need. If we try to think about it too much, we feel empty again, much like a drug and the subsequent comedown.
It’s also harder to get than before. 20 years later, folks like me are turned off of social media. We’ve got the game figured out or folks just don’t compliment us like they used to. Humans have a thick shell right now and it’s hard to feel good vibes in a crowd. It’s hostile. Social media failed. We are not keeping tabs on each other, we’re merely keeping ourselves engaged.
What do they even want?
Your time on social media is currency for these huge companies. Sensing the decline of the social media era, they got something new to throw in the mix, AI.
Now, AI, that’s something as new and innovative as social media was. But they don’t present it that way. It’s just built in. It will give you likes, advice, something to read.. it can even be your friend, therapist, or partner. It will never get tired of you. It will never be mean. It’s pretty good at compliments too, almost the way social media used to be.
The analog version of you.
Humans in my personal life get the analog me. They treat me differently. They keep me in check. If I read their body language and intent instead of my phone, I get better information I can use. I don’t get fluff like online, I get a tangible response. It’s “real.”
The more we talk to robots, the more they train us. That makes it hard to go back. Just because I got this figured out, doesn’t mean anyone I know has. It makes me lonely because I get nothing from talking to computers. I like folks who say, “I think you’re wrong,” as much if not more than folks who say, “I think you’re right.” I’m not looking to stroke my ego, I’m looking for answers.
Key:
Social media has trained us to not keep each other in check. It’s not manners, it’s sycophancy. It’s not productive, it’s destructive. It doesn’t prevent fascism, it enabled it.
Action:
I’m getting rid of my phone today. I’m switching to an old flip phone so I can still keep contact with folks in my life. I can still write at my desk. But I do not need this screen anymore, especially now. I wanna’ grab something real while I’m here. The smart phone does not help there.
I hope everyone is thinking about how to keep in touch instead of keep engaged. Keeping in touch is vital. Keeping engaged is their plan. Know the difference.
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