Learning what you like isn’t stupid.
There’s a dumb movie from years ago called Runaway Bride. It stars Julia Roberts and it’s a mean sexist depiction of a woman with mental health issues who comes from a family that could keep a whole psych ward staffed. Yet she’s the one with a problem. Anyway, I liked the part about her not knowing what kind of eggs she liked. She never made the decision for herself.
For a long portion of my life, I only liked what my girlfriend or wife did. Maybe I liked what my kids did. Friends and band mates turned me on to various things I liked. All that is fine, but I truly didn’t know what I liked. I think it made me miserable because I had no identity I created. I knew it inside. No preferences, no originality. I’d never decided those things. I robbed myself of that fun.
They know decisions are fun.
Social media companies know that we love deciding things. What they don’t know is that picking your dinner from a menu doesn’t give the same satisfaction of growing it yourself. In fact when you pick from a menu, you are voting for that item to be there the next time you come to the restaurant. Same thing with clicking on social media, you’re deciding, voting. You’re actually helping them do their job as much as anything. They make a fortune from data you give them. That’s their trade, they just call it “keeping in touch.” It’s also a lot like a relationship you have to make all the decisions in. It’s deep y’all. And awfully tiring.
The average day on social media involved tons of tiny decisions for me. Every single minute. Liking something or sharing it, reading it, scrolling X 1000. It wasn’t working for me, I was working for billionaires. Refining their algorithms. I’m convinced some of the options were shitty just to make me spend more time deciding, like overtime. “Suck it up kids, we need you to click on so many ads before you leave.”
Save some for the music. It’s the same kind of energy.. deciding.
Today, my decisions go into music and what I write here. I don’t feel tired, I have energy I haven’t felt in years. I have discovered I don’t like social media. Take that, Julia Roberts. I see your Eggs Benedict and raise you. I like funk music and I actually like my mind.
Big step for me, by the way. I’m a mental patient. My mind can work against me. But I really love it for music and this blog. I like doing what it likes. Never thought to ask it before. But it turns out, my brain has preferences that aren’t met by answering questions that beef up billionaire corporations’ algorithms. Who knew?
It’s not what you know, it’s what you devote energy to.
We only have so much time in a day, sure. I’m more concerned with the energy. When I love someone or something, I devote energy to it. For some strange reason I have enjoyed wasting time, but not energy. I don’t have energy in me after making decisions for several mins to an hour for the tech bros and data miners. But I have found with their platforms uninstalled, I play music every day. How sweet is that?
My decisions are for me now. Since no one will pay me for them, I’ll use them for myself. It’s more fun, and I often get a tune after taking time for them. When I listen to an artist, it’s become about their decisions. I enjoy thinking about that part of making music. I’m literally listening to them decide. I hate that an algorithm figured that out before I did.
It’s really about getting a new Shekere. Life. In general.
I love to visit and hang out with folks. I’m a big fan of meals and get togethers. But I don’t need to be a blip on thousands of peoples’ radar. I’m not after expensive stuff either. Already have my dream instruments, that could change in 5 mins tho, (looking at you Shekere). Big decisions. Many kinds of these things.
What if both you AND the world changed. Maybe growth, (the good kind)?
When I learn something groundbreaking for me in music, it has the potential to make me listen to songs differently and hear new stuff in old rhythms or instruments. It changes future decisions. That’s why I listen to music, the decisions of the folks involved. Much like education when you learn the good stuff, the world changes. That, my friends, is the goal of exploration. Music never gets old when it’s constantly changing and taking on new form. Exactly like learning about the world.
I maintain this is a good kind of “growth.” I’m not fond of that word in a business sense. It means hoarding. But in an educational one, the more we add to and inform our perception of the world, the more we can sing or work for it.
nazis and empathy. makes sense. they’re idiots. they hate decisions.
There’s a lot of talk about empathy when nazis are everywhere. Empathy is born from being smart enough to empathize. There’s an educational foundation to empathy. Being able to put yourself in one’s shoes requires mental pictures and facts gathered. It requires applying those to your mindset. Frequently, you need knowledge of customs or beliefs. It even requires looking past ugly bits for heart. This isn’t grade school stuff. No wonder nazis hate it. Just because dogs can do it, doesn’t mean they can.
I find music very much the same way. The more I give it, the more I use and learn from it. My perception changes. I’m fine with that arrangement. It’s all I want to do. And thanks to my personal breakthrough about decision-making and fatigue in social media, I have all the energy in the world for it.
Don’t leave without checking out this afro rock album I have fallen in love with. It is from 1972. I don’t know much about it yet. I’ve only listened a couple of days. I am very excited about this music and hope you get some joy from it. I think it is wonderful.
Return to home.
If you’d like to talk, feel free to email. [email protected]. I will read and respond. Happily. Thanks.