The Kintners Music

Ever been in a rough spot?

Last summer I was in a rough place. I had quit social media for a while. I had given up on some friends, and been given up on by my fair share too. I was cranky, not just because I am a bipolar with dysphoric manias, I was upset that “hanging out” seemed to be a thing of the past. I am a very extroverted type of personality, perhaps it hits me harder than most, granted. But it did hit me very hard. Even waiting in line sucks compared to the good ole’ days of talking to anyone.

I thought about selling all the music gear, I thought about a lot of things. But then my doctor diagnosed me with Tardive Dyskenisia after I experienced unpleasant shakiness and tension in my legs, toes, hands..jaw. That changed my thinking.

Yeah, but djembe?

Keri’s father passed away a long time ago and left us some wonderful musical instruments. We have a lovely 12-string from Yahama and a djembe from him. I grabbed the djembe for this first time around the time this was going on. I played drums in school, but I wouldn’t say I was ever good at them. But the hand drum patterns felt relieving, somehow. I felt the djembe drum limber me up for subsequent parts. It’s almost as if the rolling patterns and accents were busting away some kind of plaque on my arms and it made them feel better for other things.

When I play djembe daily, I am better at everything else I do musically. The least I could do was build a band with it. So if you are in a funk and happen to like djembe, you are in luck. Where the name comes from, basically. I wanted to make more funk music, initially, hopefully that part of the plan still works out.

Why no singer, singer?

Before this EP in Sept. last year, I hadn’t done much in jam rock or instrumental music. I tried some vocals on a few things, but it just didn’t feel right. In fact, I have tried to sing on a few Djembe Funk tracks, but it doesn’t feel right for that project. I am open to it, I love singing. But I haven’t found vocals I like for this in myself or anyone else who digs it. So, in keeping true to things I hold dear, no vocals yet. Keri sings a few words on a song, but Keri can do whatever she wants. lol.

Upon listening again…

I just listened to this again and it is a happy record. I might have made a few mixing decisions a little differently, if I mixed it again today. But this is an early work for this project. I’m very happy to present it a year later.

A goto celebration in the speakers.

If you don’t know, these songs, and all of Djembe Funk music is largely about celebrating. Not just happy, not just upbeat, but a celebration. I celebrate movement in my life now. I don’t need many reasons. I hope you’re not paying much attention to the music with folks shouting and throwing things up in the air. But if you happen to be, at least there’s nice djembe going.

We are looking at lot of improvisation.

I generally start each Djembe Funk jam with improvising on djembe, or electric guitar, or fretless bass. Once I have something I like and the BPM, I am off to the races. There’s a lot of the improvisation in each part that winds up on each track. Sometimes it rules, sometimes it doesn’t. I enjoy tracking and feeling free to improvise at the same time. If it vibes, I share it. Most times I don’t.

Citrus Fruit is a rad song, period.

One song made in this session is still one of my favorite songs! I feel like when I can squeak out one of my own favorite songs, I might as well have built my own house. “Citrus Fruit” has never left any playlists I have it on this whole time, by the way. I love when it comes on! I think that is a rad song, don’t mind saying. Had good shit that day, I guess. Must have.

Download (free):

Bandcamp: Djembe Funk Debut

Kintners Repository: Djembe Funk Debut

This is a short little thing, I don’t mind you keeping it handy for quick celebrations. It works for me.

Thanks.

Kelly Kintner

The Horse’s Mouth magazine

Let’s all start from the same place.

I plan on using the word “hostile” a bit this morning because it is precisely the word I mean. So I thought I would include the dictionary’s version here at the beginning so we are all on the same page:

Hostile means unfriendly, aggressive, or relating to an enemy. It describes people who show ill will, ideas that face open opposition, or environments that are harsh and unsafe.

Why definitions?

I like harsh and unsafe. Inhospitable. Relating to an enemy. Unfriendly. That’s what I mean by the word. This is important, I feel. The meanings of words are not ‘choose your own adventure’, not options, not even up for debate, in my opinion. That makes meanings of sentences malleable and I don’t do that unless I am writing tunes or trying to be clever. With truth? With facts? Never. I aim to be clear. Hence definitions, sometimes.

Why so hostile?

Hostile is exactly the word I mean because that is exactly how it feels ‘out in the world.’ If someone disagrees with you on your favorite brand name, politicians, religion, or even pundit, there could be conflict. At least, folks act that way. At the guitar shop, at school, at home, even in bands, it makes for hostile living.

This is corporate life too, if you didn’t know. After all, there’s hostile takeovers, even recently. Folks from other companies or competitors are enemies. The rules are in the hands of those with the most money and power, not a set of ideals to protect everyone, enforced by everyone.

My corporate experience.

I worked a corporate job for a bit. Not too long, less than 2 years was all I could take before driving trucks. I also was in a union, then promoted to no union, as if that makes sense. Nothing about the corporate world appeals to me. I think folks get ruthless to the extent I can’t even be a part of it. I was in collections. At the time I was with a major cell phone carrier. They charged per text message back then. Every day I saw bills for thousands of dollars from teens running up text messages. It seriously bummed me out. Had to leave. Not that trucking was any better. Plenty of corporate bullshit in trucking too. I just didn’t have to screw over normal everyday people in trucking. Just had to worry about myself.

That was 20 years ago and it’s nothing but way more hostile now than then.

The reason, or at least one reason, is micro targeting. Folks might tell me, sure they get my data, “so what?” Well the answer to “so what?” is what they use that data for. Any social media is going to have you pegged in a short amount of time on a grid of brand names and gut reactions. They are going to cater to you not just your preferences, but things that get a reaction from you when they need it.

The culprit.

“Micro targeting collects personal data to build detailed user profiles. Companies and campaigns use this data to send hyper-specific ads or messages to small groups. It changes content to match a person's known fears, hopes, or habits.” -Google search.

They are lying to you, treat them as such.

If you do not know precisely when this happens, what it is about, and the person or corporation behind the campaign, you are being manipulated. No one knows the truth about so many things, yet we are certain of them to the point of hostility.

2016

The Trump 2016 campaign told Facebook users on both sides what they wanted to hear. The MAGAs got their bullshit, but the liberals got their bullshit too about staying home and not voting. This message was sent to both parties, proven, by the same campaign. ‘Staying Home’ was dressed like a liberal meme or pundit, but it was Trump’s micro targeting from a company called Cambridge Analytica. I’d only be mad at Trump. However, he only hired Cambridge Analytica in 2016 after Obama had used them in 2012. However, Cambridge had upped its game in 2016 to collect a record amount of data from third-party apps, surveys, and just playing on social media.

This was a decade ago, y’all. You wonder where these micro targeting sons-of-bitches are at now with the AI tech gone so crazy? Everyone is in the dark now. No one knows shit. Unless you really know, you don’t know anything.

The grid lines, yuck.

Not only has this obfuscated the truth, it has set up and reinforced phony dividing lines. See, when you are only told what you want to hear or what makes you spend money or go vote, you are like a veal of the mind. You are locked in place with a shallower way of thinking. “Digging deep” isn’t on the menu for your mentality. You are in a cage. People I love dearly harbor a contempt for groups of people that only exist in their head or across the world, which is still in their head. I know folks who think they know how things work, they do not. I know folks who think they know motivations and morals of politicians, they do not. I even know folks who think they know what will happen, they do not.

Are you sure???

If we are thinking clearly, looking at the evidence, the only conclusion is there’s a whole ton of things we do not know. Those are the things data contractors hide with their influence and brain washing. Anyone with an ounce of truth in them says “I don’t know” at the drop of a hat these days. Data contractors do not do this. They are liars.

Who stands a chance against data scientists armed with all your data? No one.

If you are on social media you are in a small group in these folks’ eyes. These folks consist of data scientists, bad ass computers, and a ton of your information. They are for hire. Good guys and bad guys both hire them. Could be a political effort like an election, or BREXIT (who also hired Cambridge Analytica, FYI), or it could be a favorite brand name pitting you against competitors. I have definitely seen it in energy drinks, big music acts, movie and TV streamers, even restaurants, and music gear. No one gets out alive.

So what do we do?

The only way I have found to combat the invasion of my mind from influence and manipulation is to get rid of social media and severely cut back time online. I have even gone to drastically reducing screen time. I have removed screens from the main music room. The reason is I can sense the stimulation of screens now, like coffee. That makes me receptive to manipulation. It’s just wanting to visit, but they know that. They cater to it, but in disguise as ‘friends.’ Most of the folks on my lists, I’d never met. They existed purely in my imagination. Maybe they’d have sent an email wishing me well. But maybe they’re brainwashed like I was.

• Side note, documentary recommendation..

A documentary I’d recommend is called “The Great Hack.” It is about Cambridge Analytica and it got me going researching data contractors. This one film made me see the world differently. Everything I have been able to find since points to its veracity. I even googled every fact I could find, google’s proud of these facts. Go figure.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth magazine

A song about grief, but not dumb (goals).

Keri and I wrote a song a while back when a friend and customer at the guitar shop I worked at had lost his wife of 60 years. We didn’t use his words, or even his persona, but he inspired us to go there in our own relationship in our imaginations. We stayed there for days. I call this a “thought exercise.” I often pretend so I can get an angle for a song.

Thought exercises are very important to me for lyrical angles. I only get the words I am after by pretending for a while. A surface-level understanding doesn’t give me the words I need to write the lyrics I like. Much like a method actor (which I don’t like method-acting as I understand it, lol, go figure), I dwell. I make-believe, I dig deep in the pretending. I want to grab the words folks relate to. Doesn’t come quick, at least yet. It takes days of thought exercises with Keri.

“I gotta’ get moving. It keeps me alive. Keeps me from thinking about you.”

I think if we are struck with grief, some of us feel the need to get to work. Work is distracting. Work feels good sometimes. Work feels like being a part of something too. This might be necessary if we are overwhelmed with sadness. This is just so we can live.

I remember when my grandfather died and I was a kid. My dad took me home and started working on a house project. It helped him think. I have that in me too. When grief happens, nothing like a little labor to set you right.

“I’ve lost my direction, but I’m keeping my stride. Seems like the only thing to do.”

I think this line is human nature in a nutshell. What do we do? NOT keep going? NOT an option. We may not always have purpose, but movement is a sign of life. That can be the purpose. Just living.

That was just the first verse.

Here are all the lyrics and links. There are two versions of this song. I heard the delivery of Dan Cross from London in early production. I am a fan of his rock with Donald Skinner. I asked him if he felt like singing, and he and Donald made a whole version! They are wonderful. So there’s a me & Keri version, and a Dan Cross and Donald Skinner version.

Lyrics, “Like a River.”

Verse 1

I gotta’ get movin’

It keeps me alive

Keeps me from thinking about you

Verse 2

I’ve lost my direction

I’m keeping my stride

Seems like the only thing to do

Chorus

It breaks just like a river

Memories flowing down my face

It breaks just like a river

Pulling me under with the waves

Verse 3

The band’s still together

We never play the songs that you wrote

It’s like we’re stuck on the same note

Verse 4

Your things are where you left them

Down the side of the bed

Maybe I should send them on ahead (Dan’s version’s verse)

Chorus

It breaks just like a river

Memories flowing down my face

It breaks just like a river

Pulling me under with the waves

Bridge

I’ve grown tired of new adventures

Without you by my side

People tell me to move on

I just take my time.

Verse 5

You may be gone

But I’ll love you the rest of my life

People ‘round here don’t know what that’s like

Chorus and out

It breaks just like a river

Memories flowing down my face

It breaks just like a river

Pulling me under with the waves

(end)

Links for both versions of the song, “Like a River.”

• Bandcamp has these tunes: Bandcamp version, Dan Cross. Bandcamp version, The Kintners.
• I also have this in my free folder, here. You (anyone) are welcome to anything in this folder. Repository version, Dan Cross. Repository version, The Kintners.

There’s no difference in where you get them. The difference is in who is singing. And both of those versions are the same in both places.

Isn’t this song, “old?”

We wrote this a few years ago. I am highlighting it on my blog because I think it is good. I think some folks out there I know, and even some I don’t will dig or have dug this tune. Reception was great on it. Had a lot of lyrical conversations with folks who identified with the tune. Believe it or not, “most” people have never heard of this tune. So while it may be a few years old, I think it is still great. I think it still hits. And I think someone might could use it. If not? It’s just a blog entry. No big wup. I am not harmed, nor did I harm anyone by pointing the song out. I like the song. I point it out, honestly. Woke up thinking about the stuff I need to do today, first line swirling around my brain.

About grief:

There’s a tendency in today’s online circles to compare grief, or compare tragedies. I urge you to consider changing this up. When you look at someone’s face who is grieving, there’s no comparisons, no advice, no steps, no pills, nothing. Maybe just give them a hug like I wound up giving that old man a hug at the guitar shop. He was a MAGA, he was 90 years old. Doesn’t matter, dude lost his wife of 60 years. I didn’t think about him faking it like I would have online. He was in front of me. I thought about him, and Keri. I think if I was grieving, I’d have wanted to be talking to me then. That is a good way to be, I feel, in hindsight. I was flying blind, but now the plan is just to be present for those grieving. I think that is a good plan.

Maybe you want to write about something serious, I have a suggestion. (But no guarantees.)

I spend a lot of time in these characters, in their words, in their day-to-day. I get up with them, I go to sleep with them. I imagine them getting dressed, eating, getting frustrated, feeling lost, feeling insecure. This is all serious stuff. I treat it very seriously, even though I am making it up. I am able to do this because I have given myself permission on these big songs to “go there.” I find that simply verbally or in writing, like in an entry. My intent is a crucial step in it being good. I am not just open to what spins out of me like a tornado. I am granting it permission to do so. For whatever reasons, be it I may not feel like it is worth it, or I am worth it, or it can be done, or I am the one to do it, never ends, I do not get to do the digging I am after unless I deem the project okay and worth it. Give yourself permission to chase an artistic goal, whatever it is. Try it. Allow it to take you over. You’re the only one fighting it.

Thanks.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth Magazine

“Cut them down, rip them all down..”

A while back, I took our music down from streamers. It wasn’t hard, didn’t feel ever like a sacrifice once I finally did it, and it didn’t hurt at all. But at the time I felt like Joan of Arc. I actually made it harder for others to do. Who wants to be Joan of Arc?

Well, that wasn’t so bad.

The fact is not having music on streamers has been nice. Maybe numbers go down somewhere that doesn’t pay me for them, but the positive interactions about my music have skyrocketed. I am no longer a musician in the crowd. There’s no crowd.

What am I in this for?

I value things like warm conversation and exchanging favorite works. I don’t need to monetize that or incentivize it. I already enjoy it. In fact, if I made enough money, I would probably figure out how to buy it. But I have to resort to writing and music, the old-fashioned way. It’s a damn good perk of being a writer and musician that I enjoy those things too. Otherwise this gig would suck. But fortunately I enjoy writing, music, and talking about them. That’s what I aim for, that’s what I get. When I realized that leaving the streamers actually helped me with my goals, I felt vindicated. It wasn’t the annual distribution fee that chapped my ass, it wasn’t so many links to store and copy/paste (although..), it wasn’t even the scammy playlists and folks paying for spots. It was having to partner with such loser companies to “keep up.” Software has always had that pitch. I don’t know why it took me so long to recognize it with music. But I am glad it is recognized.

Want to look at my music? It won’t cost a penny.

So I decided to make a free folder of all the music I have released, (and even not released). It is clearly labeled, what band, what album, what song. Not a mess like a record store. A neat folder. You might appreciate a rundown of what you will find there. This is that.

3 bands to rule them all.

Boots on the Ground – This is a band with BK Birge, (who also writes for the mag). Keri and I drove to his place when he was in Houston not long ago. He had an amazing all analog studio set up there. The board was owned by The Cars! Stuff I had read about, but never heard in real life before. He got me started, The Doc’s fault. We made protest music for a few days, ate delicious food. We will do it again soon.

The Kintners – Keri and I like to sing, write lyrics, record, play small shows with acoustic guitar, and he even help when we can on others’ stuff. The Kintners is the sing-songy band I have always wanted. There's usually harmony, there’s typically lyrics. There’s often big arrangements so far. The next album coming this Christmas 2026, is a double-album of smaller arrangements. Keri writes lyrics like in “Picking Flowers” and it gives me chills for years.

Djembe Funk – This band is me. If anyone is helping their name is part of the title. This is my one-man can do anything band. Djembe Funk’s self-titled record came out June 4, 2026. It is a zany record. Spoken word to protest to punk to acoustic firesides. Before that record, I made a ton of solo stuff, all in the folder.

Shout out to The Horse’s Mouth.

The Treasure is simply the Treasure Chest on The Horse’s Mouth Linktree below my signature at bottom. There, you will find all the free bonuses to the magazine. Art from Chris Triggs, Writers reading audio versions of pieces they wrote, even folks who pitched in the magazine hung around to make music and that is there too.

I need nothing. Just take.

This is a good amount of stuff, it’s all free. I hope you take me up on it. I am done with it, but it really helped me out to make. I’ve learned those kinds of things can help other folks when they’re in the mood for listening. I don’t want numbers going up, I don’t need money, I am counting nothing, except maybe warm conversations where we swap favorite novels.

Thanks.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth Magazine

The great falsehood.

I was once told that in order to have a happy life, I need discipline. That is false.

Many people like me spend an enormous amount of effort trying to be disciplined and fail everyday. Every day. I contend there is a better way.

Don’t let what disciplined folks can say ruin your day.

There is a way to live undisciplined and be a happy person. You can be content, you can have meaningful relationships, you can feel good about yourself. The rub is that many disciplined people don’t believe this. There is a bias held by many disciplined folk against the undisciplined.

Bias as old as humanity.

As a musically talented bipolar person growing up in the world, I was given many lectures regarding the importance of discipline. I was told the key to success is in discipline, that’s very false. I was told the secret to happiness was discipline, again false, (also not a secret if someone bothered telling it to me). I was given priorities of rigorous discipline by unknowing older or mentor-type adults, many of whom were convinced if I just had discipline, I’d be unstoppable. Seriously, I was told this as a kid.

They have ‘key attributes’ made up for discipline.. a list of biases.

Here’s the kicker, though. Discipline is a skill. That means it is learned. They even have it broken down into key attributes:

• Self-control: Managing your feelings and stopping bad habits.
• Perseverance: Not giving up when things get hard.
• Respect for rules: Obeying laws and guidelines set by authority.
• Dedication: Working hard to finish important tasks.
• Consistency: Doing the right task every day without fail. 

Okay, I’ll just stop a bad habit.

Do you see the inherent bias in this? As a bipolar, the number one key is impossible sometimes. The second item is nothing but bias. The rules suck right now, in response to the third. I don’t have a problem with the 4th, but you aren’t going to know which tasks are important and which are just dumb being dedicated to all of them or dedicated to these rules. Consistency in art is a no-go for me. I don’t even want it. Consistency means no growth, unless you are consistently growing..but they don’t call that discipline. Capitalists love this term, by the way, “consistency.” Artists do not. Maybe some have a little of both in them and they’re fighting each other.. REAL disciplined, guys. (always a dude.)

Dear techs and producers,

I love my disciplined technicians and producers, but many have had difficulty with me not being disciplined. This is not because they know more, not because they know best; it’s bias. They are able to be disciplined, maybe raised that way. They have specific ways of doing things. They are not flexible. That is not me. I am not going to be masterful at discipline at 50 as a bipolar and someone who’s never been that way. Some roads I don’t go down in this life. That is just the way it is.

The good news.

The good news for me is I don’t have to be disciplined to be happy, content, love, or make art. So I am fine.

I do have to do other things. 

I have to make myself a list of rules per project. I mentioned before I set up stations around the house, one station, one job. I have developed routines, like a disciplined person might, just because I am bipolar and it helps mitigate symptoms. I take meds to keep control and be ‘myself’ for long periods of time. I try to sleep a lot. Sleep seems to help me from getting too hyper. Go figure. I am eating better and better, a long, slow, arduous, and even expensive process. But it feels good. I do physical stuff at the day job. Keeps the blood flowing. I also talk a bunch about how I feel. I hope friends let me know if I say something concerning to them. Talking for me is a way to weave myself in the world. The music helps me a lot. But talking seems to be fun for more folks than just me. Haha. Whereas talking to myself, not hitting.

We’re talking self-care here. It might be my only discipline. And that’s FINE.

I do a whole lot to stay on top of symptoms and have fun. But it is not the discipline required to finish a college degree, or even fix a car. Maintenance is hard for me. Learning software bores me to tears. I have done it. But I am not doing it anymore. Music stuff gets to a technical level where I have to make hard choices. I usually make the wrong one. So I change things and hope for better next time. That’s as disciplined as I get. I don’t have years of habit, skill, routine, even living in one place very long. My life has largely been about survival. A strong sense of discipline would have killed me not so long ago. I had to quit, give up, surrender, admit I needed to change, take pills. If I have managed to develop ANY discipline since then, it’s only because I did that stuff first.

Maybe we need both types?

So, you disciplined folks getting frustrated with undisciplined songwriters can chill. Why not play to your strengths? Have a disciplined and an undisciplined relationship. Does the undisciplined person get on your nerves, even though you have never met and you like their songs? Check your bias.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth Magazine

6th Grade Lit.

As a kid in the 6th grade, I discovered Flannery O’Connor. My world has gotten nothing but better since then. O’Connor had a profound impact on me, still does. I wanted to write not only about why, but why I feel that is important for me.

Are we really talking about villains here?

The richness of O’Connor’s postbellum society was in what she didn’t say as well as the words typed. Imagine The Great Depression. Walker Evans, a famous photographer of The Great Depression, noted, “No wonder Southerners are intimidated by their own landscape.” If you don’t know The American South, you might not be familiar with the endless things here. Endless heat, endless flat land, endless ignorance, endless hate, endless poverty. O’Connor put everyone on the same playing field in that the villains didn’t seem so bad, and the “good guys” didn’t seem so good. I think in survival situations across all humanity, Flannery O’Connor nailed a truth about human nature, in this regard. I mean, what do you do if you are going to die? How do you live? Does someone get hurt in the process? What’s their story? Do they deserve to live less than you? Flannery O’Connor started this line of thought in me at 6th grade. And it hasn’t let up yet.

Lots of Church.

In traditional Gothic Literature, you might have castles, even decaying ones. In Southern Gothic Lit, you got decaying plantations. You have high society, as best it can hold out in Southern Gothic Lit too. But you also have a lot of poverty. Church seems to linger in the air on some stories I have read. Anytime someone is talking, you just know there’s a cross somewhere, like grandma’s house.

I am not a fan of church, religion, spirituality, or beliefs. But I don’t have to be with this genre. The Southern Gothic genre has no more reverence for religion than I do. It’s just part of the set. But for folks like me who know, it’s also a big part of the trauma. By not treating the church as the guidepost in the narrative, it frees me up to examine it for what it is, an oppressor. I like literature that accommodates me in that way. Not a lot does. Plenty, I am not hurting, but still not a lot in comparison. I often find myself in situations where folks want me to practice tolerance or be nice. They don’t know my history with religion and are telling me to “shut up” essentially. That doesn’t help them in my eyes. Southern Gothic stories say, “we got you.”

The hypocrisy, come on. You got to see that shit.

My first O’Connor novel back when I was in 6th grade was called “Wise Blood.” That main character’s name was Hazel Motes (fabulous name). Hazel Motes founded an anti-religion. He claimed “The Church of Christ without Christ.” Now, in yelling about his new church, Hazel Motes desperately seeks redemption. But if you are the kind of person in need of redemption, you might be the kind of person in need of Christ. They’re both religions. They’re both taught. A meerkat doesn’t wake up on the warm grass and start looking for forgiveness. It’s a man-made construct. Even though Flannery O’Connor herself was religious, she was most certainly no dummy.

Her stories are loaded with pious or intelligent folks who succumb to temptations or bad behavior. In one story called “The Geranium,” an early one of hers, a man tries to teach his barber a lesson in civility and ends up getting violent himself. This one story has taught me more about dealing with obstinate-natured people than any class. It’s pointless.

There’s a grandma in her most popular story, “A Good Man is Hard to Find” who is a perfect image of many seniors I knew growing up in the South. They were religious, claiming to be morally upright with their racial slurs. They held a bias against poor folks even though they had been poor most of their lives, and might even be poor now. This grandma lied, pleaded for her life, and ratting kids out. She was a real bitch, good riddance.

The swamp, it sinks.

What you have for the backdrop of all this goofy religion and oppression is a sinking southern plantation. At one time, this place was hustle and bustle and good for about 10 people. That world is now overgrown and sinking in the swamp. The leveling of the field that does for folks trying to survive is fascinating to me. It makes me want to throw my computer in the swamp. I’d like to slowly observe it sinking into the earth, never to be dug up. An ugly chapter in history, not just American history. Slavery and oppression are a worldwide human issue. Everyone with a computer or phone faces it.

Make that sink too. If you are the praying type, good prayer there. I don’t see how it happens otherwise. This also makes the roots of characters murky. This is an important feature. Much of Southern Gothic suspense and intrigue comes when someone’s past is revealed. I won’t say it’s a trope, but it is there. But you have to understand, these were not safe times. Who you were in a past life might not be safe in this one. While it may be common in the novels, it comes by it honestly. It was most certainly common in real life in the postbellum South. The swamp gives by its sinking. In many’s cases, it was the gift of a secret identity.

I get novels, but what about movies, music?

I have a few songs I put out that folks used the term, “southern gothic” to categorize. Review outlets have done it, folks at shows have done it, and even close friends. It isn’t just me. Folks feel “Southern Gothic” when they hear songs like “15 Years” or “Smoke and Mud.” I love that. I feel like I came across it. I don’t know if I think it is an official music category. It seems very much a literary one to me; however, I love that vibe. I know what they mean. And I love that they said that. It’s like saying to a musician, “you read Flannery too?” All about that.

Movies, I get it. I mean, “To Kill a Mockingbird” is not only a southern gothic novel by Harper Lee, it’s a fabulous southern gothic film too. The modern version, “A Time to Kill,” doesn’t come close, but it is still the same genre.

Hop aboard the SG train.

I welcome everything into the southern gothic category that fits. It means awareness to me. It means friends are all in agreement, can we please not go back there? Let’s just enjoy the fiction.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth magazine

A DAW sounds fine, so…

If you think the sound is why folks like me prefer analog music-making, you’d be less than half right. While I do love the tones that come easily on my console, I can get close in a computer. It takes a different approach, takes me a little longer, but I get sounds I like listening to out of a DAW.

The reason analog is still king is because it is still a hobby. I don’t know what making music in a DAW is most the time. It is something akin to masturbating then showing off results. Sure work gets done in a DAW, but a lot of the “work” I hear is syncing menu items to BPMs and playing with effects. That’s wholly different than pounding a song out on an instrument. When it is just me and a guitar, there’s no menus. There’s no BPMs. There’s no mix. There’s my brain and there’s my hands. It is simply a more fun way to spend my time. And that is the deal with analog.

But what about the time making it? Isn’t that supposed to be enjoyable?

Folks I know who dig analog too have time they devote to music-making and enjoying that time is more important than enjoying the rewards of the music. The time to make the music is a reward in itself. Why spend that on a computer?

• sidenote-The demo lesson

I try (these days) to make nice demo packages for collaborators. I didn’t always. The reason is I want to be a good part in the day of these nice folks helping me out on a song. I want them to enjoy tracking and thinking of parts. I want good memories. I want them to want to play along. When I tossed crap over, I often got crap back. It’s different today. It’s not because of my ears. It’s because I am trying to have fun doing this stuff.

Let us count the ways. 1.

Analog is more fun to use in several ways, not just one way. First? No updates. I have devoted entire segments of my life learning software for production only for it to change key features or get bought and boom, my workflow has to change. My process should not be so dependent on software just for this alone. I don’t get better at things if they always change the rules.

2.

A screen stimulates. You may not notice. But, as someone who has cut out screens except to write a blog entry and watch the BBC occasionally, I can tell you, I am more calm than I can ever remember being. What this tells me is I’m “getting off” doing DAW work. It is feeding me stuff, it ain’t just music. The thing is, I like my mind better without the effect of screens all day on it. I want to like myself. So analog is an easy choice there.

3.

Analog has a few technical perks over computer DAW’s. My favorite now, because I am on a big project is “set it and forget it.” If me or a client wants all the songs to sound the same, cohesive, like they were all made together with a lot of the same thoughts in mind, it’s very easy. Sure, it is possible and probably done on the daily in the world on computers. But I have been using DAW’s since Cool Edit Pro 2.0 a long time ago, (2002?), and that one function has never been so easy as it is with the Tascam recorder. I just leave the knobs. Next.

4.

Software companies suck. I know that’s a general and broad statement. But, years of dealing with them have taught me, I can’t even trust this blog site I am using until we push and pull a little to test malleability. The culture of software is grimy and gross. They have no respect for folks’ time and their job is to save just that. They reboot or update software that takes years to learn, they get bought, change the feel, change the goals. They might take on new features and functions that detract from their primary purpose, or at least, purpose for you. And now, they harvest. They know everything you like. They can even track your eye movements on your phone to know what your eyes do while scrolling, looking at porn. They suck. A huge satisfaction for analog work for me is not giving them the pleasure.

5.

The main reason I am converting every studio function to analog as I can is really because my hands. It is good for them. I have Tardive Dyskinesia and I get relieved whenever I can do something I intend to do with my fingers, my hands. I like to type, one reason is this. I like faders, buttons, knobs, precise movements that have direct effect on the monitors. It makes me feel solid. I don’t get “solid” vibes with a mouse. It hovers in the general area, not precise like an actual fader or knob at my fingers. Precise is a good word because computer mixing often requires selecting from menus. That feels more like “getting lucky” when I stumble on things. That’s fine if you want that. But I prefer to dial things in the way I intend from the beginning. I am working towards that.

Like everything, it’s a process.

I got a console, Tascam Model 24. It sounds fabulous. Preamps on every channel. The sound hardly needs anything if it sounded good in tracking. Very different from an interface to computer. I rarely got good sounds through the Focusrite that didn’t take a good deal of messing with. Another reason I like analog recording is less computer work. There’s a whole shift I don’t have to do at the computer desk by going in the Tascam. It sounds fine already. So, one less thing.

I am not fully analog yet. But I am getting there. It’s not cheap, sadly. It takes saving, in my tax bracket. But, music. I am used to that.

How I’d get started today in analog.

If you ever want to try analog recording, I would start small. Or borrow. You may be hooked on the computer way of doing things and I’d feel bad encouraging you to spend money on something you can’t use. Analog will make you work how it needs to work. Some folks don’t like that. I do, less on my brain. The good thing is starting small is totally possible. Ever heard of a 4 track? Or even, an 8 track? Those can be very reasonable. Zoom makes great digital/analog style recorders. I still have my 16 track from “back in the day” and it works great. The sound is very pleasant. I like Zoom recorders because they have very few proprietary buttons, terms, actions. So if you know music, you can probably figure out their stuff pretty quick. No learning curve on new gear is like mana from the gods. Software companies do not reward you in this way, hardly ever.

It never ends, (that’s fine).

I am on the market now for outboard gear. I am looking at various options for compression. I use Opto and FET compression a lot in computer mixing. This is fun for me. One less thing for the computer to do, coming soon.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth Magazine

Magazines are fun mmkay?

When I was growing up, magazines were a big deal for us. We’d all read about celebrities or hobbies and swap. Or we could cut out pictures and put them on our wall. I got a National Geographic subscription when I was a kid and I wanted to be a photographer when I grew up. Actually, I wanted to be a foreign correspondent, just with an eye, and a Nikon.

Magazines do not require updates, but they still get bought out.

As I transition to self-imposed life sans internet, I think about learning and entertainment differently. Learning for years, the hard stuff, has had to do with learning software. In music, I find this frustrating because we already had good stuff. Why ruin the good stuff that worked to make stuff that doesn’t? I have spent years learning the program Logic Pro on Apple. It is at version 12.3 as of this writing. I’ve been on since version 8 or so. It is impossible to keep up with the changes for me. I may learn slowly, I get that. But I hate the mentality of a company that takes my time invested for granted like that, especially if I am coming to them to save time. So I am transitioning music to analog stuff. I got a nice console. Someday, I won’t supplant anything analog with Logic Pro at all. Working toward that. Bit by bit.

I also think about fun. When I think about living without internet, I think fun might take a hit. This is where The Horse’s Mouth comes in. Or, at least came in initially. I wanted something to do offline for fun that still made opportunities for me to meet folks and learn about them. I came across a search for “snail mail groups” and I was pretty convinced we needed to do a newsletter. The newsletter became a mag quickly.

There’s more to printing on paper than we thought.

As we got into the nitty gritty of making a real paper and thick magazine, we realized we were doing it for something besides entertainment. We enjoyed helping folks get offline for as long as it takes to read it. We enjoy that unlike the internet, our magazine says the same thing, no matter what your algo is. Not only are we in love with that for us, I feel joyful to offer that to writers as well. Writers work hard on the words they mean to say. They are not always the words you want to hear. If a computer gets involved with that, chances are the writer gets screwed. But the reader gets screwed too. They read the computer, not the writer, and may not even know it. None of this happens on a paper mag. And we are here for it.

Number-Crunching soon!

We are also putting together a finances report . I will post it on the link tree when it is completed. We will have outgoing and incoming expenses. Everything will be laid out nicely so you can easily see how much a mag of your own would run. We are only once a quarter, plenty of room for others to start a club too. I strongly recommend googling “snail mail clubs”.

So many great folks helped.

The first issue was amazing! My dad, Max, wrote a prose in verse thing about Texarkana and roosters. My wife, Keri, wrote a recipe that I love to scarf down. Friends from everywhere pitched in too. Chris from Wales did an article and some illustrations that rule. Dino DiMuro does this thing where he hits on a lot of my emotions without a short amount of time. Bk Birge wrote about how to get out of a “bedroom sound” as a musician and how to start seeking your own sound. Caroline in the Garden had a wonderful message about pace and being multi-faceted. Ultimate Rick Jones talks about promoting what you love. Marc Schuster writes an article about Bandcamp Listening Parties, then he is interviewed by John Gilbert.

Shout out to art dept.

None of this would have looked so cool without Keri doing layout and Chris drawing a bunch. The magazine really looks cool, as well as reads cool. Lucky to have them on board.

Be the change…..

I think the consensus among most folks I hang out with is we have to do something. They rot your brain on purpose online. I urge you not to be okay with that. I urge it so bad, I made a magazine.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth Magazine

Anger.

I can get very angry. I don’t want to. I don’t mean to. I have bipolar disorder and I have experienced hypo-mania before. But lately within the last few years, dysphoric mania is making a comeback. I am trying to combat that. I hate this uncontrollable boiling over with anger sensation more than anything. I hate the regret, time wasted, regret, time wasted, loneliness, time wasted, etc.

Bipolar Disorder.

For those that don’t know, bipolar disorder comes with a variety of symptoms. One of those symptoms, you may be aware of, mania. Mania doesn’t always mean fun. In fact, I’d venture to say that all in all, even the fun manias aren’t as fun in hindsight. But my kind of mania lately, is no fun at all. I get angry. What’s happening in my brain is I’m very depressed, but also very hyper at the same time. If I was a chemist, asked to make a formula for uncontrollable anger, I’d look at that. Because that is what it feels like. Blind rage.

I had a nice coffee post written. 907 words on a new blogging site, seemed real easy. It felt cool. Easy on the eyes too. The editor was just what I wanted. I alt-tab and my work is gone. My phone flashes and folks are asking questions. Keri is trying to help me. And I just threw the phone away.

Later.

In hindsight, I think that was the right move. It shouldn’t have even been in that equation. The situation wouldn’t have felt so escalated. So that’s it. No more phone. None. I’m out. I can’t behave like I want to with it. I am hopelessly addicted to it. I have to remove it from the equation.

Brain Power.

Since I have been off social media I have learned some things. I have more brain power. Let me explain, since I have quit social media, I can read 40 pages in one sitting without issue. It’s been years since I could do that. I have a reading station now.

Stations.

I make stations temporarily around the house depending on projects or what I am into. Right now, I have a demo desk (also easily converted to writing desk), tracking space, lyrics area, guitar jamming space, and a reading space. The reason I have to do all this silly ritualistic stuff is because I have the attention span of a gnat. The reason I have the attention span of a gnat is a ton of unfettered internet time of over 2 decades. Who stands a chance?

No one stands a chance, (really).

No one. Against a fleet of data scientists armed with all our data, no one stands a chance. They’re going to get in the brain. It isn’t the number one industry in the whole world because it vibes. They got the numbers they need, like insurance. They are on the winning team.

Underneath everything is seething anger at the way things are. I try not to be a pain with it. I try to help. I don’t believe in anything radical like acceptance or forgiveness. I don’t do believing much. Never on purpose. I do believe things, but if I find myself believing something, I examine that like hell. I think it is as much compulsion as skepticism. But we’re talking my beliefs, not anyone else’s. So no harm in it. Not trying to crush anyone’s faith. I just don’t really like faith.

Calm.

I feel a lot more calm now. This is a reason I write. I know it will help me feel better. Even if I am only reading or writing my words, I am helping myself. I think that is pretty cool.

How I fight the guilt.

I feel terrible about the dysphoria. The guilt. How awful I must seem to some. I find it hard to move on after an episode. I just want to die. My kids haven’t spoken to me in years. Might be a reason. I get loud, yell, act stupid. Even today. Not often. Not even when anyone can see. But I still do. Shaking with violent anger. I take an Ativan, call it day. I don’t want to be angry. I don’t want to be stupid. I don’t want to be violent. So I got to take myself out of the game for a few sometimes. It’s the only way I have found to combat the guilt. And after all, that’s really what I don’t want.

I evolve, lots of folks do not.

So I am changing, still. If bipolar has done anything “for” me, it’s point me to different ways of processing, being, living, without hurting anyone. That has always been my goal. Still is. I discovered a breakthrough with CBT/DBT group therapy in New York but haven’t been able to find anything like that here in TX. I like CBT/DBT. I think the examining and positive-habits formed helped me as much as anything.

Do something masterful every day.

My counselor there told me “make sure you do something to help you feel masterful everyday, Kelly.” He knew what he was talking about. Years later, after doing masterful things everyday for a while, I’ve learned it’s cultivating good things in me. Much like growing a plant, doing things you like doing grows you. Certain times of the year or after big projects, it dawns on me what I spend all that time being masterful by myself for. It’ s so I can be part of a masterful work. The growth of getting better, slowing the mind a bit, on a regular basis, also combats the guilt, I’ve found. Can’t be all bad if I made this, whatever it is.

No phone but I am fine.

Today no phone. But I have demos. I have a Charles Bukowski book that is a gut-buster it’s so funny. No phone. First time in years. After sitting down to write this, first, I am excited for it.  -Kelly