The Kintners Music

The hour after thought:

Our protest tune with bkbirge on old school equipment in an analog studio called “Pill Party” is a sad fiesta. I will put it here. A good song for this entry. “Going in circles, we never make it anywhere” :

Video

Bandcamp

The Three B's

October 3, 2026

Business, Brandnames, Beliefs

I am very fed up with mainstream anything. Liberal punditry makes me ditch the word “liberal” even though I have loved it for years. I get Heather Cox Richardson’s articles sent to me from Substack, X, YouTube, META, and it brings me down. She strikes me as an intelligent, caring person. But that is merely her demeanor. OR, she just doesn’t know that her bringing thousands of paying Dems and liberals to corporations like TikTok makes CEOs worldwide chuckle. The dollar bills she represents to them are much more valuable than anything she says. She works for them. But here I am supposed to take her liberal commentary seriously. She knows this, I think. She is smart, not saying she’s dumb. But she advertises the enemy businesses.

State and Corporate

Fascism, as we know, is a marriage of state and corporate. I think even though we know this saying, many of us have not “gone there” in our imagination. It is vital to realize that this is the Corporate United States we all wanted and dreamed of. Along with billionaires and trillionaires, we get not knowing who folks work for. Because government and corporate are so mixed, senators, the president, anyone could be signing off on legislation for a seat on the board or some stocks. That’s where we live now.

I’ll just list a few popular examples of folks and institutions I don’t know about:

Cory Booker— his industrial military complex ties in NJ and performative anger. After his big ole’ speech, he did not go to work; he opted for a book tour. He voted for Trump’s cabinet, he worked with Ted Cruz. I am not saying working with Republicans is bad; it is what you are there for. But in line with this other stuff, Ted Cruz doesn’t help.

Hakeem Jeffries betrayed all Americans and Democrats by going against Medicare for all. Why would he do that? Insurance companies, maybe?

Rachel Maddow used to be a favorite of mine. But now I find her to be pure speculative performance. I don’t know if she changed, or if this is my change, both. But she is amazing at making you think what she’s saying is real; most of the time it isn’t.

Anyone using X or Substack, META, I know of. These kinds of liberals anger the snot out of me. They think their words mean more than the thousands of paying customers they bring to corporations that bought the US government. Everyone laughs, but them. If they all got together and made an ethical one, problem solved, and I bet it would be a hit. But they are leeches to corporate power. Not very “strong”, in my book.

Billionaires – I used to think there were good ones and bad ones. I was wrong. Even if they vote Democrat, the title of “billionaire” is the greatest error our society has made that I can think of, but stick around! We might be close to topping that. They’re all bad, every single one. They do not have to act badly to be bad. They can just have too much, own too much, boss too much…and be bad.

The Police With Fascism, comes a mob of angry men. They work for the government. They do not care about right or wrong, legality, or propriety. They want as many heads in the van as they can muster. We sell these folks to prisons, prisons get paid per head, even in other countries like El Salvador. This is an industry. Death is an industry. This is my suspicion, we will only see these angry white boys more and more the further away from popularity Trump slips. We might not see it on the news though, stay “woke.” haha. The police was invented to catch slaves, they’re just returning to their roots.

Schools – Here in Texas, if you are a girl, you might wind up high on Jesus and knocked up before finishing high school. At one time, when I saw a news report about our town here, we had more pregnant teens than staff in the whole ISD. I think this area is treacherous for young women. But what about the men? Young men are impressionable too, I was. What if there aren’t folks to show young men about being good young men? I think that’s a bad place for both boys and girls. But, the corporations get a good workforce out of that pool.

Elections. I don’t know what happened with Kamala Harris. I still can’t figure it out. She acted very weird. She had a template with how to talk to Trump from Rachel Scott that all she had to do was copy. She acted out of place, like she was lying and caught off guard. She said weird, inappropriate stuff about her gun. She was a great prosecutor. What happened? Yet when I brought this up with fellow Democrats, I got very hostile treatment and “shut up, vote blue.” I was also called by Democrats, “boomer, fat ass, privileged, on and on.” As long as elections are like this, I don’t see how reason wins. It isn’t even on the menu. This is when I no longer called myself a Democrat, by the way. 2024. I didn’t like Kamala. I didn’t like Democrats. Guess I am not a Democrat anymore.

The thing about fascists..

This is the important part of fascism everyone needs to know. Brands and government are the same. If you are attached to a brand of clothing, electronics, politics, food, vehicle, website, any software, tools, anything, consider the situation fluid. Your brand could be killing folks in the desert, deporting them there, closing homeless shelters, starving kids; you just don’t know.

Make a profile!

When you make a public profile on a brand-name site, you are advertising for that site, even if you don’t think you are. They do, and they got the money. There is a saying in Silicon Valley that goes, “If you aren’t purchasing the product, you are the product.” What do you think that means? I will tell you, you are a tool for them to deliver data to and harvest from, and you advertise to your circle their service. Of course, it doesn’t cost a thing. It’s like thousands of dollars worth of work you give them. They’ll let you have a log in for that.

Kelly Kintner

I like to email conversation. If you think we’d enjoy talking to each other, thekintnersmusic@gmail.com .. Thanks for reaching out.

Do you actually know your place? Isn’t that your job? Whoever you are?

October 1, 2026

When you drink alone a lot, then you drink around people.

Most of us have been to parties and witnessed folks getting out of hand. People can become so inebriated they lose their place in a crowd. They lack the sober judgment required for fitting in. I’ve been this person. I wouldn’t say awareness was my strong suit at the time. But that’s over now. It has been for over a decade.

Being aware also means knowing your place.

Through a lot of time in good mental places, I’ve come to realize I need to be aware of who I am, what I like doing, how I like contributing, even my talents and skills. Here’s the kicker, it isn’t even for me. It’s for you. It’s for anyone. It’s to help. Without that awareness, I don’t think much “helping” happens.

If you know your place, you make it easy for others to find you.

One of the things that makes Eli Whitney‘s cotton gin so pivotal is not just the parts that could be replaced easily. There was also one single operator at one station turning a crank. They knew one thing. And they did it a whole bunch of times. Regardless of their background or education, if they learned that one thing, they made a hand. In the factory of the world, there are many stations to choose from. In order to make a hand, not only do you need to know just one thing, folks need to know you know it so they steer the conveyor your way. If you don’t know your place, they won’t either.

You contribute, regardless of what you do. It’s not always good, not always bad. But it is your contribution.

I come across people all the time in music who feel very solo in this life. I’ve even worked with other songwriters who have expressed to me how alone everyone seems to be. We’ve talked about folks seeming to prefer loneliness. Everyone gets their own choices. But I am going to bet if you have a pulse, you have a purpose. I’ve experienced many points in my life when I felt I had no purpose. I don’t think that goes away permanently. But I do think it’s irresponsible to swim in it too long barring mental health issues, of course. I think everyone has a station. Everyone knows something that helps everyone. Every point of view is valuable in helping me determine my point of view. Did you know you had that much purpose? You are boots on the ground for someone else!

Nature made musicians, ever think of that? Why?

Whatever cosmic natural plan that gives us talent did not imbue our DNA with our inclinations so we would be a happy person. Nature does not work that way. Nature doesn’t care about happiness. It cares about survival. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure out that we need talents to survive as a species, according to nature. They are indeed gifts to get us out the door. So if you think you don’t have a purpose, I’d start with talents. That’s literally nature calling, hard to go wrong with answering that one.

The mindset of contributing.

It is hard to dip into a mindset of contribution. That is because many of us make it difficult to see ourselves and what we can do. I mentioned a while back that I was a manager at a major hardware store, Lowe’s, in my early 20s. The folks that quit under me were most likely the ones we didn’t train well. Lowe’s picked up on it. One of my courses said “Training is the number one prevention of Turnover.” I still think about that all these years later. If I want to feel good at a job, I’m likely going to need training. This is me practicing at the tasks, sure. But it is also in receiving mentorship, which I have been lucky to get from a host of collaborators in the music world. I would have never looked to learn from fellow indies without Lowe’s. Many academic programs are on top of this. Mentorship in music is quintessential to me doing music at all. I would have quit without some form of mentorship many times. It is hard. It is daunting. To hell with it if no one helps me and I’m alone with my nose in a book forever.., this is how I feel sometimes. Music is a vast library as old as time. It’s not wrong to ask a librarian to point you in the right direction. Believe it or not, it helps the mentor too, back to that purpose thing. It is powerful. Survival is a very strong instinct for many folks. Both life and legacy, survival is paramount. The world’s biggest companies know this, you should too. You are not wrong for asking a musician to teach you music. You are not wrong to say yes when folks ask too.

What are you here for?

Your job as an animal in this world involves learning what you are good at, then sharing it. That’s nature. Lions know this. Penguins know this. Humans get a little iffy. Nature has a design. It isn’t always pleasant, but it lives on, still, despite us.. (for however long). I think that should be considered.

Kelly Kintner

I don't mind the bragging, I do it myself.

September 30, 2026

What is modesty for?

I have felt for a long time that certain kinds of modesty are designed to pin people down rather than spare anyone a headache. I think there are a ton of musicians in this category. If I interview a guitarist and they are ranked 7th in the world by a reputable magazine, as did happen, I want to soak up as much as I can. I was very lucky he was up to it. However, most musicians have a modest demeanor that I have interviewed. Even though a magazine or website has sent me to interview them about their new album, they may not even feel like it is very important. I don’t know what comes naturally, or what is taught. But many forms of modesty are music killers.

Are you telling the truth, for one thing?

First off, it is usually dishonest. First clue. You can know in your mind you made a vibey tune, but if you say you made a vibey tune and how you feel about it, you turn folks off. I have known since I was a boy that folks do not want you to feel proud of something you do yourself that works. Even as an adult, friends don’t want it. Family won’t acknowledge it. I feel it is because we give someone complexity and an artistic journey if we like their stuff. Right now, it is tough to give away anything. It is also difficult to take on new complexity, like learning and growth in someone you have known forever. Friends are a poor sell to begin with, though, if you can’t be honest with them. This was a very hard spot for me until I committed to more honesty in my life, for mainly other reasons. This one was like splatter damage.

I was literally pinned down by not looking at who I am realistically and honestly.

We pin young musicians down a lot by telling them to be modest. I mean I don’t, but you do. I have seen it. I was a young, not very modest musician. I think folks wanted me to be a different person. There’s no way I am going to learn something cool and not talk about it, share it, write about it, or use it in a song. That is who I am. I am the only person in this town of 100,000 that I know like me. I would say my modesty is about right for that. As immodest as I am, though, I still don’t tell musicians to be modest, and the main reason is…

Undue modesty thwarts education.

I enjoy the teaching aspect of music more than any other aspect of it. I feel like we are all in a lab. If someone has the answer, out with it. So many times I have learned folks know infinitely more than they let on because they felt they needed to be modest. But as someone getting to know them, it felt like they were introducing restrictions and controlling the relationship. I’ve also felt “observed” in a creative sense. Unless there’s a crowd in front of us, I am not looking to be observed in music. I am happy in a learning environment to participate in discussion, but even that is boring with cagey-modest-types. They drive me crazy, frankly. Why not talk about what you know and do? I am into it. I want to learn. Is this fun for you?

Then there’s the fact that if you want “the best me,” you probably need ears.

Also, I am not good at a lot of things. I am really bad at a lot of things. I feel like when I get to do music, I get to do something I am much better at. For folks who have the same thing going on, not able to admit it, I suggest looking at that. It has shifted the focus on how I do music; every step is fun. It has changed my sound, a little more snarky, more tape. It has drastically improved the amount of time I can work on music in one sitting so I am able to work longer sessions. It has changed my preferences a little in that I hear what folks are doing in certain songs more. You are possibly missing out on all this, maybe more, by being modest.

Sorry if you don’t know what music is.

See, music is your self-expression. Regardless of what you think that music is or does that you’re making, it paints some kind of image of you to the listener. No one can help that. That is what it is. Personally, that’s what I hate about a lot of AI-type sounds because I see circuits and machine language in my brain. I want to be away from that stuff, vibing to music. So I try to hide or not use any elements like that, these days. I am trying to facilitate the image of a human, this human right here. If I am not honest about that image, I am not sure what I am trying to do as a musician. That is going to make me sound immodest sometimes.

Kelly Kintner

The Kintners, (producer, writer, most instruments, vocal)

Djembe Funk, (one-man jam rock, protest, afrorock)

One thing I love about GetMusic.fm, (okay, maybe two things).

September 29, 2026

I love this service.

A while back, I came across a service online called GetMusic.fm. Since then, I have quit social media, thrown my phone in the garbage, but not lost very many listeners on Bandcamp at all. Considering I have started new projects and managed to find listeners without the usual hoopla, I wanted to give GetMusic.fm a proper love post. They are the reason.

I have people now.

The world is up its own ass all the time these days. It’s hard for the creative like myself who needs a clear head to think of characters and stories. It is very hard to get a clear head. I would buy it if I could. What I have found to be essential in my process of making music and writing is a head devoid of people unless I make them up. I didn’t get that for years. But once I took a social media break a couple of years ago, I never went back. I like the empty space in my head. There is room for me there. I do not think there is room for me in crowded social media. My brain just doesn’t function as well there. While I may need socials to get word out about my music, I do not need them at all in the process of making it. This is where GetMusic.fm comes in.

The dangers of doing self-promo and staying up all night on socials, 101.

I like people. I love to visit. But that isn’t social media. Social media is more like a race than a hangout. You are on a track. You may not know it, going so fast. But much like a theme park, your rides are on rails. Controlled. Planned. Behind the scenes. What really pisses me off is the information entered in social media isn’t used to find you potential buddies. It is used to cater more of what the computer thinks you want to you. This distorts reality… at least it did mine.

The escape from the madness.

But GetMusic.fm and ten dollars is a steal. (For the record, I have asked for a free credit on their site before, and they gladly handed me one. Now I can afford it. But that was nice.) All the codes that Bandcamp gives you, give them to GetMusic.fm; they find folks to download your music. The site is amazing with collections, highlights, catalogs, and spiffy tools to help folks find the kinds of music they like. There are even spotlights.

You mean I show up in searches? Who is credited for putting me there?

What I see now, today, as my reason for writing this, is GetMusic.fm does a whole lot more. Look what happens when I search the latest Djembe Funk tune on Google.

When I scroll here, I see a lot of work GetMusic does getting my song out to socials. I see Google notices that. Google notices their site where my music is at, and I am talked about sometimes. Nearly all the information Google is showing me they have on my new song comes from GetMusic.fm. To me, that’s above and beyond the call of duty.

How it works.

Here’s how it works: I make a song, I put the song on Bandcamp, then I fill out the GetMusic.fm form to add it there. Sometimes I don’t have the free Bandcamp codes, but at 3 bucks for a hundred of them, I can swing it. Then 10 bucks to Chuck over at GetMusic and I am in business. For 13 dollars, I now have better promo than I have ever gotten. No social media. No copy/paste. No forgetting who I am talking to. Just finishing my coffee.

To have presence and not have to work at it is priceless. That is what you get here. It may cost a small amount of money, sure. But it’s priceless.

I can see myself. Google says who posted information about me. It was GetMusic.fm.

I can verify with my own eyes and searches. GetMusic.fm is hot on the case. GetMusic.fm wants me to have a good time schlepping songs. They have a huge crowd that jumps on releases and even talks about them. I found that in searches too. They shared me on Threads and Insta. I haven’t had a log in to those places for years. To me, that’s GetMusic.fm doing the “dirty work.”

An easy decision if you are me.

This is a valuable service to anyone like me who likes spending more time offline making music than online pushing it. If you would like a nudge in your Bandcamp downloads, it’s an easy decision.

Basically the cost of a value meal.

Could I save the 13 dollars and get on socials and put myself in Google searches? Most likely. But I take the 13-dollar option every day of the week. Twice on Sunday. For comparison, the last time we ate at McDonald’s was 23 dollars. So for my portion of a 2-meal ticket at cheap fast food, I never have to log into social media for a release. That’s a good deal.

Kelly Kintner, Producer

Djembe Funk (GetMusic.fm link)

The Kintners (GetMusic.fm link)

A little about my new process.

September 28, 2026

Since using a friend’s analog gear..

I have been slowly falling in love with the idea of recording the sound I want to make, then not mixing it to death. I may have altruistic reasons, but the main reason is that it requires less mixing. Mixing isn’t my favorite, nor am I terrific at it. It makes sense for me to minimize it since I have to do it.

Start with a board, maybe? (I really don’t know. Just what I did.)

This first involved me getting an analog board with preamps. The preamps on every channel of the Model 24 from Tascam give me a lot right out of the gate towards sounds that require less mixing. Overall, every track is less “plinky” than I got from straight into the Scarlet from Focusrite. You can adjust gain and incoming compression. The raw track before mixing sounds better than its counterpart in a typical interface set up. That is what I am wanting. The better the raw tracks, the less mixing, I hope. Lol.

Use all the damn rooms.

I have been learning how to use all different rooms in the house for tracking and different mics. I have a tiny insulated room for mixing music, but I am discovering it sounds better to track other places. I have a big Chameleon Labs TS-2 Tube Microphone; it likes space. As does The Myrtle from Ear Trumpet Labs. I have learned that my Shinybox 46 MXL ribbon mic often sounds good pointed at an open door. I have learned that my SM57 clones, the GLS ES57’s, have different characteristics in different rooms and all of them usable. I have found the garage to be indispensable for certain amps, vocals, and mics. Instead of, “what mic am I going to use?” I think more about the room. This is new. This is only since I have been concerned with mixing less. I guess the main tip so far is, “Engineer more to mix less.”

How’s your EQ? Can you make that easier?

One of the things I love about the Model 24 is the EQ. I know what knob to instinctively turn if I hear a boxy sound. I never got there with computer EQ. These are simple on the board: 4 knobs per track. It is very easy to hear the effect of each knob. That’s the EQ. Less mixing.

Good gain is also less mixing.

Gain is a fickle friend. I have additional control there with the board. I think that on top of the preamps really helps to lay down a strong signal. I have something else:

Not long ago, I found a new DBX rack mount 266XS gate and compressor. I discovered I can record with this on an insert with funny cables, and it helps immensely. If I take time to set the gate just right, it saves a ton of mixing out noise. This is also in the chain after the preamps but before the disc. I think this device helps everything sound better. In football jargon, this device is loaded with “intangibles.” Less mixing.

Learn mics. Many don’t require a lot with proper room and good signal.

I got a ribbon mic not long ago, (the Shinybox 46MXL I mentioned earlier). Many times, recording guitar especially, it is good to go after it is tracked. I might have to edit it, turn it up or down, but that ribbon saves me a ton of mixing.

A cheap easy mastering solution that really is fun. (verified)

One thing I REALLY hate about mixing is mastering. Mastering is the bane of my existence. What I have discovered here is called TAPE 16 DAW. It is a virtual tape machine. It has 16 tracks. I only ever use two. Right and Left. I find this thing super forgiving as well as very rigid. The thing is, I like where it is both. The rigidity keeps me on track, and the forgiving shoots out nice surprises. If you want a mastering solution, or a 16 track “doing it old school” DAW, I can’t recommend this enough. I could see this being handy in a host of different processes. It is on sale at the moment, 30 dollars!

Free Palestine by Djembe Funk

I did all this stuff mentioned on this tune. I am proud of how it came out. I played all the parts. I mastered on the virtual tape machine. I mixed, but I didn’t mix a lot. So here, you are for real listening to me have fun. I am putting effort into the making of music. I don’t care about what comes after. I am focusing on the creating part. Nothing kills my vibe for music more than computer DAWs. I can only do an hour or so at a time before I get too frustrated to make good decisions. But this method here, I did this whole song from start to finish in a day. Slept on it. Released after mastering on tape the next morning. And, I feel good. See, I don’t like AI or social media. So I try to work around that so I can feel good instead of making compromises and choices that make me feel bad.

Free download code from Bandcamp!

About the topic

I don’t know that I know anyone who would be offended by “Free Palestine” except a few concert promoters. Haha. A couple of friends have given me the tough topic talk. But I don’t think it’s tough. Most folks are just wrong, and that’s what is tough for them. Coming out against bombing schools isn’t tough. But coming out against your friends might be. I don’t have that issue. lol.

I hope you find a more fun way.

I know folks out there who want to do creative things without AI or skeezy operatives can do this. It is hard, at first. But you never know, you may wind up saving a ton in time and frustration. Good Luck, Kelly.

I'd like you better if..

September 27, 2026

We’re talking mentally ill

In the hospital, in school, at work, at shows, in the military, everywhere, even online, mentor-type personalities have told me, “You’d do better if you weren’t mentally ill.” My answer to that is, “No shit, Sherlock.”

You’d be better at what you are trying to do if you weren’t mentally ill..

Not long ago, a friend online and a mixer I worked with told me, “You’d be a lot better at music without mental health issues.” He was trying to be nice. But engineer-types have a hard time there. It stuck in my craw. I am wrong for that. But he also should not have said it. I doubt I will get as much from him. He doesn’t care. I’m crazy, or whatever.

I have a dream

It’s important to me because I dream about being taken seriously as a person and patient. When tech-types or capitalist-types dismiss me for being nuts, they are the ones actually being nuts. But good luck telling them that.

One of many important timelines

If you can’t see how the world has been propelled forward by the study of psychology and psychiatry (and set back too), allow me to elucidate; here is just one timeline of early institutions and asylums. If folks got out of line, they got put away. What do you think the technician is saying when he says, “if it wasn’t for his mental illness…” He’s saying, “he will never be a serious part of the music scene.” Thanks, tech. I got enough diagnoses. I can do without that one too.

Meanwhile, at the house.

“I’d like it better if it wasn’t so busy,” what I found myself saying to artwork I was attempting. Busy can be good. But I was going for simple. So I wasn’t saying the art was bad, I was stating my preference. That’s okay, with art. People, it’s different. People change, know things they don’t say, don’t know things they do say. They are malleable in a way a work of art is not. People often grow. They can get better or worse since you last saw them. They can learn, they can forget. To write a whole human off because they act weird, especially for their music, is called bias.

When you are hospitalized as a mental patient, it’s easy to experience bias against other patients. No one gets out alive.

I overreacted, sure. However, I am not dealing with a mental health bias today. So, I’ll take the overreacting. As a mental health patient, it is especially painful when I notice my own bias. I try not to do it, but I am a human.

The betrayal of it all.

To be honest, it feels like betrayal as a mental health patient. It never comes from folks I thought of as enemies. Only friends and coworkers show their bias. Maybe they feel safe and let their guard down. What they do is reveal how wrongly I thought they thought of me. I feel like a fool. That hurts my feelings. Conflict ensues. Relationship toast. This cycle here is my social life in a nutshell.

But Keri, she does it perfectly.

Why it works with Keri is respect. I do not get that from the world. Keri wraps me in it. I act dumb around Keri. I even experience dysphoric anger and hypomania. I probably say the dumbest shit. She doesn’t care. She just loves. Keri is the singularly most non-biased person for the mentally ill I have ever met. This includes over ten years of psychiatric treatment. She sees the person under the crazy and talks to that. She’s always completely safe around me. Also, a goddess..

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

I think this respect is applicable to more than just how we treat the mentally ill. We could do with a refresher course of respect online, in person, and for ourselves. I can look at a work, or listen to a song, or thumb through one of my catalogs and feel proud. I have garnered myself some respect. It doesn’t matter if anyone bought it. I am listening to it now. It works for me. I respect the artist, even if it is me.

Online I basically quit because of this issue. I need a certain amount of respect as a human or it feels like hostile territory. I do not venture into hostile territory for fun. Missions only. Some teenager calls me old fat white boomer or whatever and it bothers me. I can act like it doesn’t, but it still does. If I respect myself that day, I avoid it altogether.

How to respect someone going through a hard time.

When you look eye to eye with someone and it is obvious they are struggling, I’d advise offering assistance or staying clear. Putting their tirades and breakdowns on social media sets the whole human race back. Respect them. Respect yourself. Respect us. People do not earn respect to deserve it. They are people. They get it anyway. Waiting for the world to respect you before you respect the world is futile, verified.

Kelly Kintner

Just a bipolar patient today.

Music and mental illness, a bipolar's perspective.

September 24, 2026

They size you up quick

It has happened after hearing a tune someone learned I was bipolar. They said “that’s why.” They liked the song, thought it couldn’t possibly come from me, and attributed it to my bipolar disorder, which is what happened. In seconds, really.

I checked the book and..

My being bipolar often makes me very emotional. But I can’t find anything in the DSM about it making me play guitar better. My staying on beat isn’t improved by lithium. My lyrics are not granted to me by a mysterious bipolar angel. Even if I concede I am perhaps overly sensitive to emotion, that is not the same thing as being able to write a tune someone else likes.

Please give this thought exercise a minute or two:

I hope to start a train of thought with whoever might read this. I hope you hear not just the guitars, but the sound, the decisions involved in note selection, the tones. I hope you hear not just the words, but the intent that put them there. I hope you realize if you saw this band you’re listening to live, between bar noise and a grumpy soundman, they ain’t going to sound as good. I hope you hear styles mixing together like backgrounds of coworkers. If you hear this kind of thing, there’s no, “must be the bipolar.”

My bipolar life

Bipolar Disorder is a strife for me. I am not someone who strives to be grateful for a mental illness. It’s very difficult. I battle with maturity every hour of every day. Sometimes on the inside I boil over. Then I have to use my outsides to calm myself down. That’s if I’m lucky. It is just as likely I’ll get angry and be mean. I can be full-blown clinically depressed and full-blown manic at the same time. This dysphoric anger is my nemesis. But it isn’t gone. There’s no music getting done when it shows up, I am back at survival mode in seconds. Bipolar doesn’t help me creatively, I fight it. I want to be on an even keel. That would help.

Give yourself a chance with mental illness by giving it to someone else

I hope if you are confronted with mental illness in your life, or your family’s, you don’t try to look for the positive. That’s just something folks believe so they can sleep without feeling bad about how terribly they treat the mentally ill. I hope you give yourself a chance where you wouldn’t the musicians. I am over all this bias. I’m fine, don’t feel bad about me. I feel bad about you.

I will save you a little time getting adjusted to being newly diagnosed. What you’re going to want to do is set yourself up to be as safe as possible. This includes routines, maintenance, even perhaps changes in diet and exercise. Loads and loads of mentally ill have never had this kind of life. It’s because of poverty and bias. But at least that bipolar could write a tune.

Kelly Kintner Editor, Producer

You ever look yourself up?

September 22, 2026

Dear Google,

I looked myself up yesterday. I was asked how many songs I am on credits for, and I didn’t have a clue. I still don’t, but I feel good about myself. That counts for something. Right?

“Google, how many song credits am I on?” (Try it yourself, I bet it says something different.)

So it’s true, but..

All of the information in this AI answer is factual. I can’t deny I did all this stuff, even for some of the reasons it mentions. But it appears to me that it is tooting my horn. I think it gives the wrong impression of me. It probably says something different to someone else about me. I asked Keri to look it up, but since she is in the band too, we got similar. But our friend across town? “Kintner who?” This right here. This is what pisses me off. Information isn’t universal, it’s personal. This is why there’s a The Horse’s Mouth magazine.

Not mentioned, and worth mentioning..

The computer doesn’t mention I go long periods without making things at all. I can spend a full 6 months recharging my batteries. So while I may seem prolific over time, I am pretty slow on the day to day. I don’t mind. I am not trying to be prolific or quick. But you don’t get that impression here.

Another thing is MOST of the folks I have worked with no longer will speak to me. I don’t know why. It might be different strokes for different folks. Maybe someone got pissed about some bullshit I said. Maybe I was flippant about something that was important to someone. Maybe because I am bipolar and often “not myself,” they prefer to keep distance. Maybe they changed their mind about how something sounded and blame me for an error they hear. I have to guess, every time. They don’t tell me. But they ditch me. Could be them, could be me. Both. I don’t bust their balls about it. I am used to it. Maybe they don’t make music to make buddies, it’s fine. You see, I am happy about the time it lasted. Expecting forever is my fault, not theirs. No one gives you forever. They can’t. So I quit expecting it. That is a lot easier without computers, for some reason.

Google doesn’t tell you that I think musicians are badasses. I am trying to make friends with them. I don’t stand a chance with the “normies.” Just because we make a tune together doesn’t mean we are pals. But I wish it did. I like pals. I think life is much easier with a handful of friends.

So while I may be successful at recording music with other indies, I suck at making friends. I think if google wanted to be truthful with me here, it might have mentioned something along those lines. It was more interested in writing my resumé than giving me anything I could use. I don’t need a resumé for the music, folks can just hit play.

What does this mean when you multiply it times billions?

Multiply this times billions. You ever hear the term, “a legend in their own mind?” This mindset is being nurtured by google and other aggregators, AI’s, data contractors, social media.. I mean hell, it is basically how computing works. Fluff ‘em up, keep them logged in.

“Are you just kissing my ass right now?” – needs to be in everyone’s vocabulary.

I urge you to practice recognition of folks kissing your ass. It’s nothing personal, it is just the way things are these days. It doesn’t have anything to do with you, it has to do with computers and folks trained in thinking that’s what they have to do. AI does it. AI teaches it. But I can’t stand it. There’s no depth, honesty, or connections in it. There’s protocol. That’s for robots, not me. But you do you.

If you are traded by the public, I expect you not to want to decimate it.

I think publicly traded companies have an obligation to serve the public, but I must be alone here. No one else thinks that. Folks think publicly traded companies serve the individual, so they need AI customizing the information they receive individually. Information should be the same for everyone, shouldn’t it? If a rich person has better access to information than a poor person does, that’s discrimination. It’s not all access. Not “public.”

But the kissing ass thing. .. This has direct negative impact on personality, worldview, mental health, and folks just do it. I am certain many folks don’t even know when their ass is being kissed. It’s everyday. They may not even know when they are kissing ass. I don’t know, but I suspect with some people.

Sometimes, when folks ditch me, I know it is because they command some kind of ass-kissing they have been trained to receive. It makes them lonely when they don’t get it and they ditch me. Then they release songs about being lonely with AI lyrics. It’s happened more than once. It isn’t every time, but it damn sure is sometimes. Stop the madness.

Honesty, integrity, concern. Those are pillars to good human relations, historically. I think now it’s different. I think now it’s a “grab what you can while you can” society. Almost like a riot, looting. Someone may help you toss a couch through a storefront window, but it isn’t the same thing as a friend. You are mutual opportunists. It isn’t even a friendly environment. But if everyone is kissing everyone’s ass, how can you tell?

Kelly Kintner